Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Dawn at the Beverly Center.

Having been bamboozled by the false store times on the website of the Beverly Center, I've been here since 9:15 am looking at gate after closed gate of stores which I expected open. At the risk of seeming like an early morning mall walker, I've ceased my wandering the floors of the vacant mall and am now enjoying a pumpkin ice blended at Coffee Bean--the only retailer in this monstrosity of an LA institution with any integrity it would seem.

But as I sit here sipping on sugary ice, I'm perusing the wall of names of those who've donated to some cause or another at the Coffee Bean counter...and I've noticed something even more frightening than mall walkers...the names of children these days--well, they're just dreadful. Whether it's made up names like Apple and Sonic, or total mispellings of classics like Jesika, our name bank's gone to shit.

Amongst the atrocities on Coffee Bean's wall this morning...

Loreal (seriously-did you really name her after your store-bought mascara?)
Yummy Yurry (I hope to God this one's a fake)

Come on folks-if we're that concerned about our children's individuality, why not return to old classics like Bertha and Maude? Let's not torture our children any more with names of fruit and fictitious spellings.

Here's to hoping that Bloomingdale's opens its G.D. doors before I get a Sharpie out to start amending these poor kids' stickers.

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