Mountains: check. Beach: check. Nightlife: umm...

In my old age (yes, the 20s have been rough), I've tired of LA's nightlife scene. In NY, if we didn't like a place, we'd hop in a cab and be to our next opportunity for fun just ten minutes and probably less than $15 later. Here in LA, one bad stop means another 20 minutes of driving, another valet, and most likely another room of badly dressed plastic surgery experiments. (I quote a dear Israeli friend who was in town from NY a few weeks after we ate at Beso: "why are they all strippers who go out here?")

On Saturday night, I was suckered in to what seemed like a promising proposition to venture out. Janelle Monae was performing a free show at the grand opening of Dakota Lounge (formerly Temple Bar) in Santa Monica. My lovely friend DJ Lady Sha was throwing the bash and she was fabulous as always. But did I mention that this joint was in Santa Monica? Much as I wanted to enjoy myself, a Santa Monica crowd is a Santa Monica crowd is not for me. (The one exception to this rule being the folks at Bar Chloe, run by one of my fave nightlife ladies Laurie Mulstay.)

We thought we might have better luck at Bardot, where my buddies throw Hi Fi every Saturday night. The music was great, the crowd just fine. But I'd really like to know when waitresses were given permission to start chewing gum in your face and getting your order wrong? Last time I checked shrimp does not constitute vegetarian fare. And short shorts and long legs do not forgive bad service. If I am ever to open a place, I vow to hire college graduates, even if they've got some cellulite and don't have their pout nailed down yet.

Hoping next weekend treats me better. Oh yeah--it will--cause I'll most likely be staying in and watching online TV!

Photo Credits: Janelle Monae - MySpace, Bardot - Metromix LA