The non-celebration of Valentine's Day, a day like any other.

It's Valentine's Day. And considering that LA has the highest quotient of pretty people per square foot than any other region in the United States (okay, I made that statistic up--it could be Maine, but who are we kidding), I find it surprising that more and more of my friends are single on this most romantic of made-up, commercial holidays.

For my single friends out there, I'd thought--why not put together a guide to fun happenings, events and distractions around the city for the un-coupled to enjoy. And, after another moment, decided that no, I wouldn't do that. I would not attempt to fit round pegs into square holes (I'm nearly certain that that is not how the saying goes but moving on...). Consider the following metaphor. Though I wished I could have a tree in my home every December growing up, we didn't start celebrating Christmas just because I liked the scent of pine and the look of tinsel. And so it is with Valentine's Day. Singletons may like the looks of chocolate hearts and a dozen red roses. But one doesn't just start celebrating Valentine's Day because she's craving sweets and every body else is doing it. So, to my single friends I say this--Happy Valentine's Day. But let's not get too wrapped up in this most Hallmark of holidays. Let's not feel we need to make up for lack of romance with an abundance of Hershey's kisses or expensive meals out with friends. Let's not be small and host anti-Valentine's parties (the Jews didn't protest Christmas just because it wasn't ours to celebrate, remember). Let's all recall our childhood days when we gave a Valentine's Day card to everyone just because they were our friends and even if they weren't and then we went home and ate chicken fingers for dinner just like every other night of the year.

As for my Valentine's Day plans, readers? Let's just say I'll be eating, drinking and being merry. But that's what I do every night.

And if you really need a guide for Valentine's Day activities, check out the LA Weekly's.

Happy New Year, a week late but nothing short.

They say that one's year is dictated by how she rings it in. If that's the case, I'm not sure what to make of my year to come. For the last couple of days of 2010 and the first several of '11, I've been experiencing the kind of sickness that encompasses one's head in a bubble of congestion and makes everything outside that bubble seem like slow-motion cinema of surreal proportions.

But during the last couple of days, I have experienced this shattering lucidness in the bubble. Light has seemingly been drawn on matters as large as my purpose here (yeah, like on Earth) and as small as my love for carbohydrates (yes, I do love bagels!). And everything has seemed extraordinarily wonderful and shiny and new since then. I realize that what I am experiencing is likely nothing more than shortness of oxygen to the brain. But, oh, how glorious the high.

And where I'd had zero New Year's resolutions before, I now have several.

1. I want to learn! I'm not done learning I realized in the car yesterday (whether or not I should be driving is agreeably disputable). I want to read. I want to take classes. I want to make up for the last ten years of brain stagnancy.

2. I want to eat bagels! As previously stated, I have rediscovered a love for the chewy, soft circles of carbohydrate that I've denied myself for many years. But I love bagels. And I want to have things that I love. I want to have them every day. I want to savor them in beautiful parks. I want to pull over on the side of the road to eat them with the concentration they deserve. Sometimes, I want to eat them in bed with an open jar of peanut butter. Life is short, and I want my short life to be full of bagels!

3. I want to appreciate life! It is beautiful out, the weather in Los Angeles this week. It is sunny and the air is fresh and the whole city feels like it's full of the greatest possibilities. I am sick, but I'm not that sick. I am a little down in the dumps for being stuck in a perpetual state of feverish looniness, but life could be worse. I wish I had more money, but I could always have less. Basically, life kicks ass but it's so damn short and I'm turning 30 in 2011 and you better believe I'm about to start kicking the 2nd third of my lif'e's butt--this year and then the next and hopefully the year after that one too.

So, a long and drawn out and much belated Happy New Year from me to you. Being stuck inside this congestion bubble has opened my mind up to the wondrous all around me. I hope you can see it too. May you feel a little bit of the manic joy I've felt this week from a headcold all year round.

xo * Jessie

An hour's worth of quality holiday entertainment for the day after.

It's not only Sunday. But it's the Day After Christmas kind of Sunday. Which means that you have double excuse to sit back on your couch, get ahold of the remote controls, and not move all morning.

But you've got hours still until football. So how bout you spend an hour of that lazy day listening to something worthwhile. Like This American Life's Comedians of Christmas Holiday Special. Acts 3 and 5 are the best so have some patience or fast forward.

Enjoy.

It's a sexy Cupid-Meets-Christ kind of holiday.

Count the following amongst tidbits of information to which you will reply 'Who knew!?' in your lifetime: In Japan, where Christianity is a minority faith, the Christmas holiday is celebrated as a more commercial occasion (sound familiar?) than religious, with the emphasis on Christmas Eve, happiness, presents, and...romance. [Cue: wide eyes, long gasp, exclamation in unison of 'Who knew?!'] Long story short (mostly because I don't know the whole story), it's not considered favorable to be single round this time. LA based party people New Noir, are throwing a Japanese style holiday party, 'Christmas is for Cupid,' to honor that strange tradition. So, grab the sexiest holiday wares the cold weather will allow and head on over to Royal/T next Wednesday for the ho-ho-ho-down.

The event will feature tunes, dancing, ping-pong, and a naughty costume contest. Gift bags'll be raffled off and tacos'll be served up.

Now get ready to be shocked yet again. Fried chicken is also customary at Japanese Christmas. But that is neither here, nor there, and certainly not of interest to this vegetarian.

Christmas is for Cupid
December 22nd
7 p - 12 a

Royal/T
8910 Washington Boulevard
Culver City, CA 90232

Tickets available online for $10. But my readers can score 15% off using the code SANTA at checkout.

See you there!

Mr. Brainwash still believes in love.

Mr Brainwash is releasing a special holiday print, "I Still Believe In Love."

While I do believe in Santa--I mean, I just saw him at the mall shaking a bucket of change--this print by the famed street artist and documentarian (Exit Through The Gift Shop) is for a good cause.

Proceeds from the sale will go to the charity, "Toys for Tots," which spreads "a message for hope to less fortunate youngsters" this holiday season.

Price: $175

How to: host a crafty holiday party.

In LA, we do our best to fake it through the holiday season. We hang the usual lights above Wilshire Boulevard, we host parties touting 'snow' (white paper cutouts do not count, people), and we run clothing drives for Skid Row (because what the homeless down there really need is your old Juicy tracksuit).

Despite temps that don't fall below 50, we can still have genuine holiday fun. Here's a tip on how c/o my great friends Amy and Nat who hosted a killer holiday bash last week in Brooklyn. Instead of just serving the expected egg nog and gingerbread cookies, they put guests to work in an Ornament Making, crafts for big kids fashion. This is genius for reasons twofold.

1. Hosts may end the party with the usual wine spills and shattered glasses to clean up, but also with a fully decorated tree. Score.

2. Guests have something to do. And guests need something to do. Because we've all already used up our small talk during the previous 11 months of the year.

All you need is old magazines, crafty items (think pipe cleaners), random items from your junk drawer or the 99 Cents Store (cake toppers, stickers, letters from old boyfriends that are ripe for cutting up), adhesive*, and hooks for hanging.

* NB - Hot glue guns seem like a great idea, but clumsy guests (ahem, yes, me) may end up with 2nd degree burns. Have a First Aid Kit on hand!

Below, some of the decorative highlights from Amy & Nat's party (the first two are mine--please note that ornaments can make statements as well as be pleasing to the eye, i.e. my Don't Ask Don't Tell tribute)...

Jonathan Adler for a cause & caffeine.

Project (RED) launched several years ago, teaming up with big brands to develop cool products whose proceeds would go to support HIV and AIDS progams. The incredible project has only grown bigger and more effective since.

Design star Jonathan Adler has now joined the fight, designing a travel mug for Starbucks that is--dare I say this and risk demeaning the cause--really freaking adorable.

Beside supporting (RED) with the purchase of a mug, you of course also support the green movement. Enough with those cardboard sleeves already, ya hear?

Pick up your Adler mug to go at your local Starbucks or shop the (STARBUCKS)RED collection online and make your holiday shopping dollars count.

Cool Hunting's pop-up gift mecca. [NYC]

 

Shopping for the holidays can be like a slow, month-long death to the creativity and authenticity of generosity.

How much did Jimmy Jo spend on me last year? I'll have to get him exactly three and a half sets of wool socks to make good.

Or, little Janey is just growing so quickly these days. A gift card seems best. Is Starbucks credit appropriate for a 4 year old?

Well, Cool Hunting--blogging purveyors of pretty much everything awesome and fresh in culture, arts, tech and design--have launched a pop-up shop with Gap in NYC this holiday season which guarantees that each and every gift you get will at least start a conversation that doesn't end in Where's the closest location for me to return this?

From frivolous items like customizable trophies (I want an 'Imma Winner' engraving) to books by cool peeps (like Amy Sedaris) to decorative collaborations with design gods (like Jonathan Adler--check out his butt bust below) to unique edibles (like some amazing chocolate--yes, I sampled, and tasty pickles), the store is an amazing treasure trove of gifts for your nearest and dearest [and yourself].

Below the jump, some of my favorite items in the store. I didn't officially register or anything, but ya know, take this as an official hint of my holiday wish list...

Fried Pastries & Liquor Day. Mmmmm.

Because Friday is National Doughnut Day [and because there's never a bad reason to drink], Grace Restaurant is offering bourbon and doughnut pairings.

I don't drink bourbon. Nor do I frequently indulge in doughnuts. But this concept sounds absolutely delightful all the same.

From the restaurant's website...

Friday June 4th is National Doughnut Day. In celebration Pastry Chef Mariah Swan and Wine Director Eduardo Porto Carreiro have created a flight of three doughnuts each paired with single barrel bourbons offered all week beginning - Tuesday June 1st through Sunday June 6th.

Salt and Pepper Caramel Glazed Doughnut
Blanton’s Single Barrel

Buttermilk Toasted Coconut Glazed Doughnut
Elmer T. Lee Single Barrel

Chocolate Hazelnut Glazed Doughnut
Woodford Reserve Single Barrel

doughnuts served with vanilla ice cream

$12 doughnuts only
$24 with bourbon pairings

Tuesday June 1, 2010 - Sunday June 6, 2010

Grace Restaurant
7360 Beverly Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA

Bon appetit and remember, kids, don't eat donuts and drive.

[via Daily Candy]

It's Memorial Day.

[Image Credit: Alfred Eisenstaedt. 1945.]

A cynic's guide to St. Patrick's Day.

First of all, I had to google leprechaun to figure out how to spell it. Nothing should be that difficult. Second of all, it's St. Patrick's Day today, otherwise known as St. Patty's Day, more often known as a day of ridiculous drinking, debauchery, and green clovers.

I don't get it. Perhaps this has something to do with me growing up Jewish in Long Island. We are usually busy getting ready for Passover at this time of year--which is another holiday I don't understand--and it was never explained to me that drinking green beer, wishing on four leafed flowers, and believing in little people was celebratory.

But, for those of you who enjoy this sort of thing, here's my guide to a festive, greenwashed day of fun based on the things I know about St. Patrick's Day...

1 & 2. Drinking is a big part of this day, yeah? While all the other Irishmen and partygoers are seeking out bars with names like O'Dooles and Casey's Irish Pub, you can skip the lines and hit up Hooters. I assure you you'll find plenty of beer there. And you will probably get lucky too. Which kills two St. Patty's birds with one inebriated stone.

3. To my understanding, folks just love their leprechauns. Well, I looked up leprechauns in Wikipedia and apparently they're just "a type of Fairy...usually taking the form of an old man, clad in a red or green coat, who enjoys partaking in mischief." Keep this to yourself...but you can find one of these guys down on Skid Row. Just buy him a beer and he'll hang all night, I'm sure.

4. To me, green beer sounds like a recipe for food poisoning. For those who'd like to seem festive, but aren't at one of these pubs serving the colored ale, just throw some green liquid food coloring in your pocket before your night out. One drop of this stuff in your pitcher of Miller will have you seeing green all night. Awesome.

Safe and happy holidays to all. And top o' the morning to you. Or something like that.

The perfect gift I wasn't given: Hug E Gram.

I am wildly disappointed that I did not receive one of these for Valentine's Day. I take solace only in the fact that St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo and my birthday are all coming up in 2010, giving all of you plenty of reason and opportunity to send one of these my way.

I would love it. And, indirectly, then love you. Which is pretty special.

[via Five Blogs Before Lunch]

Celebrating Valentine's Day: Arty Party + Naughty Nature + Eat Your Heart Out.

Valentine's Day is exactly 9 days away...not that anyone's counting...though you might have thought it had arrived weeks ago if the decorated aisles of your local pharmacy were any indication. But no--it's right around the corner now and, in a relationship or not, it's likely on your mind.

Here's one thing not to do on Valentine's Day: stay in. There is simply too much out there to do. Plus, staying in if you're single is sort of pitiful (sorry friends). And staying in if you're in a relationship is pretty flipping lazy.

There's an activity in LA for each of you--one as perfect for you as your other half (ew, gag). So buck up, grab your date [or at least a platonic friend who likes to make out when intoxicated], and get out there young lovers.

For the Art Freak

There's Lucent L'amore at the Shrine in Downtown LA. According to my very poor language skills, the name translates to light / the love. In reality, it translates to a multimedia bonanza for you and your sweetie. There will be installations including one from The Do Lab (you've seen 'em at Coachella), art from talented peeps like Kofie One and L. Croskey (the brains behind Cannibal Flower), and entertainment from the likes of N.A.S.A. and Lucent Dossier Experience. I'm not saying a bunch of folks at this humongo party will be tripping balls, but...no, I said I wasn't saying anything. Sober or--um, not--this event will surely provide enough mind-blowing distractions to entertain you on even the worst of Valentine's Day dates.

A Tip From Cupid: study up on the participating artists in advance and then say really smart and insightful things to impress your companion.

For the Nature Buff

There's always a hike. Cause nothing says romance like running out of breath and fainting at high altitudes. For the casual hiker there's Griffith Park (if you're not a casual hiker I'm not the person to talk to). Meet up at Trails Cafe where you and your new Craiglist Casual Encounters friend can caffeinate for the long walk ahead. If you're feeling lazy, order a sandwich and call off the hike. If you're really going to spend your Valentine's Day sweating, start up the trail and be sure to veer off to find Dante's Peak, a lovely little garden meets overlook meets picnicking spot.

A Tip From Cupid: try not to look as geeky as these kids in the picture here. Also, if you plan on getting frisky on the trail, bring a blanket. Getting weeds up your butt's not romantic.

For the Desert Duo

If nothing turns you and your lov-ah on like cactii and antique shopping, pack your bags and get out of town. Palm Springs is just a road trip and one very romantic iTunes compilation away. On the 13th, the Coachella Valley Arts Scene is hosting Doo Wop in the Desert - A Retro Valentine's Dance at the Ace Hotel Palm Springs. So get your semi-formal vintage out, your dancing shoes on, and your significant other in the car for a desert romance.

For the Hungry

Depending on how well you know your date, eating a large meal may not be advisable on V Day. But if you and your honey are close enough to feel bloated with each other, make a reservation (like yesterday) and dine, drink and then do (I mean, um, talk with) your date at one of these eateries offering prix fixe or holiday special offerings: Grace Restaurant (yes, there's a Ring Ding on the dessert menu), Bottega Louie (you'll be thanked for the ordering the macarons), or Real Food Daily (who says love can't come in the form of tofu everything).

A Tip From Cupid: do yourself and your date a favor. Don't overeat. Don't order things that 'disagree' with you. Bring an after dinner mint. Make that two.

Whatever you do this February 14th, be sure to remember that your lovely, local blogger needs love too. All Valentine's Day cards, chocolates, and other romantical and/or cash gifts can be sent directly to me. Thanks much and happy early lovey-dovey Hallmark Holiday.

[Main Image - Teointarifa]

For lovers and burger lovers-Valentine's Day at White Castle.

Southern Californians. I should start by letting you know the bad news that there are no White Castles in our state. But for the rest of the country, I couldn't be more envious. This Valentine's Day, y'all will know romance like I have only dreamt about. I am imagining hearts swooning, bottles popping, men on their knees and couples living happily ever after. How can you get in on the sweet V-Day action, you ask? White Castle is taking ressies. That's how. Per the burger chain's site, you can...

Wow your special someone with tableside service, flowers and candlelight, in a place made famous for late night cravings. We’ll even upload a photo of your romantic rendezvous to our website.

A square bun, flimsy meat patties, and candlelight. I may have just died a little inside. Call your nearest White Castle now to book your burger dinner for two. With timeslots as early as 4 p at some locations you can get in, get out, and get down with your honey before sundown.

[via Guest of a Guest]

Merry Christmas. And all that nice stuff.

[via someecards]

A [frugal] Jew's guide to Christmas Day.

I hate to perpetuate any stereotype--and I'm fully aware that Jews have a bum rap for being...how to put this nicely...well, frugal--but this member of the tribe is really and truly low on funds this holiday season. And in an ironic twist, I also happen to love Christmas. Hannukah--I can take it or leave it. Yom Kippur--I'm not going a whole day without food for anything, let alone repentance. But the bright lights, pine-scented trees, and fat, gray-haired, red-suited men of Christmas--this secular Jew will celebrate that any day of the year (well, namely just on December 25th).

This year, however, I'll be stuck in So Cal on Christmas Day--loved ones far away and nary a penny to spend on festivities.

So, here's how I'll be celebrating the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

• Cleaning. Cleaning is free. It is fun. It should take up at least 2.5 hours of my day. Which is a start.
• McDonald's. Did you know that Mickey D's is open on Christmas Day? Well, it is. At least the one in K-Town. Hopefully the checker-playing, elderly Korean men of the neighborhood will be out in full force. Because I will talk to them. And I will join in their checkers game. And I will lead them in Christmas songs. You know I'll do it.
• Movies. No, not the in-theatre kind. The rent 'em at Ralph's from the big vending machine for $1 / day kind.
• Wine. Can you say Two Buck Chuck anyone? Sure you can--just try it.

And if all else fails, I will find out where you are celebrating Christmas. And I will crash.

The office holiday party gift that keeps on giving.

Earlier this week, my department hosted its annual holiday party. This party is lovely and endearing for all of its predicatability. There will always be a domestic cheese platter. I will always eat too much. Someone will always get inappropriately drunk. But what spices the party up each year is the White Elephant gift exchange.

At this year's party I received this odd specimen of a gift to the left. A 'Crazy Cat Lady' Action Figure. I think the irony begins with the word 'action.' Isn't an inherent part of the Cat Lady's persona that she not get any action?

The toy is accompanied by a quiz on the back to sort out, at long last, if you are or are not a Crazy Cat Person. Some of the questions include...

* Do you get excited when you hear a can opener?
* Do you have more cats than ex-boyfriends?
* Do you bring new boyfriends home so the cats can meet them?
* Do you later break up with them because the cats weren't impressed?
* Do you own more than one piece of clothing with a cat on it?
* Do you feel that the ancient Egyptian tradition of cat worship is the one true religion?

To which I'd like to ask, 'So, what if I can say yes to one or more of these questions? What of it?' To which I'll add that I'm not admitting to any of this. I'm just asking. So I'll implore you to stop judging me.

Regardless, I'm really looking forward to Friday night at home to play with my cats....um, I mean play with my new action figure...um, I mean go out and get crazy. Cause I totally have a life.

The [un]official Etiquette Guide to the holiday party season.

Holiday party season has officially sprung upon Los Angeles. And my calendar's become so inundated with holiday party invites that it may die a slow and painful death of good cheer and mistletoe poisoning. Now, I'm equally at fault for the scheduling overload--I hosted my own holiday party last night--but my own mistakes quickly aside, I'd love to offer some etiquette tips for those participating in holiday festivities this season.

1. Compile a holiday wish list. No one wants to guess what you want. If you're into Hanna Montana--sure I'll judge you [and perhaps suggest counseling]--I'd rather get you the weird shit you want than present you with a [far more appropriate] gift you'll scoff at. You can view my very own wish list here (hint, hint).

2. Bring something to the party. You've been invited to those 15 parties (or maybe just that one depending on how [un]popular you are). And you can't show up empty handed. If you do, your host is put in the awkward position of having to pretend he or she is still glad you came. Believe me. He or she is not. For host gifts, I suggest a nice bottle of wine, something for the kitchen, or strippers depending on the nature of the party.

3. Don't bring stupid people. The dynamic of a party is all about its guests. If you've been invited to bring a guest, bring a good one. Guests who no one wants at the party include, but are not limited to, your little, underage sister (okay, some of the guys may actually be stoked she's there, but no--this is still not okay), your recently released convict pen pal, and the lonely and creepy mall Santa.

4. Don't make it all religious and stuff. The key to most holiday parties are that they're for everyone. Catholics attend Hannukah parties. Jews go to Christmas parties. And so on and so forth. So keep the religious stuff light, especially if the soiree's a 'holiday' party and you're not sure about the religious leanings of your host. Items not to bring include: crosses, menorahs, bibles. Safe items include: mistletoe, reindeer-shaped chocolates, board games and practical jokes.

Note: above is the 'holiday' tree that someone brought over for me recently. Note that though it looks like a 'Chrsitmas' tree, there is chocolate surrounding it. And chocolate makes everything secular.

Happy holidays everyone!

xo * Jessie B. R.

Greetings meant for someone else.

I live in a medium-sized apartment building in Koreatown.
Which means that there are several who've lived in my unit before me.
And many more who'll reside there in future years, I'm sure.
Which also means that occasionally I still get Jafet R.'s mail.
This often begins with excitement about a hand addressed letter or card.
And ends with me thinking 'oh, I guess another of Jafet's old cronies doesn't know she's moved...still.'
This morning I saw the signs of the season's first holiday card.
And then--yes, of course--came the revelation that it was meant for Jafet.
Well, I've lived here for over 2 years now.
The jig is up.
I opened her mail.
First, I saw the card's cover.
'Beautiful Savior!,' it read.
Aw, criminy. Jafet's got fanatical religious friends. Great.
I opened further. Quoted psalms and a typed up letter. Awesome. More religious propaganda.
I unfold the lengthy, typed up note and begin reading Ron & Barb's 'Christmas greetings from North Carolina!'
Ron has Parkinson's. Barb has cancer. Shit. I feel bad now.
A's husband has thyroid cancer. Okay, this is too much now. This is a hoax. They're going to ask for money.
K and T are still in Durham with their 5 children. They are twins. They're three. They're having fun on the outer banks.
Two couple friends met them at the Cracker Barrel off Interstate 95 in May. It was a special treat. Um, perhaps this is for real. People don't just make up trips to the Cracker Barrel.
Mom's going to be 90 come 2010. Wow.
And--this closes the letter--Ron and Barb want to wish us...I mean Jafet...'a most blessed Christmas and New Year. At times, the future looks gloomy, but God is still in control and [they] thank Him for his protection and grace that He gives [them] each day.'
Barb and Ron have completely put me to shame. They didn't ask me...um, Jafet...for money. They didn't push their religion. They're just super grateful for their family and the twins and the Cracker Barrel and God at the holidays. They're sort of awesome and I consider, for a moment, writing back. Telling them that Jafet doesn't live here anymore. But, if they'd like, they can continue to write.

Giving thanks for: knowing enough to be grateful.

In addition to my gratitude for sugar, sunny LA skies, and other small pleasantries, I am also hugely thankful for so many significant and wonderful things in my life.

Things I give thanks for (in no particular order)...

My friends. I am so lucky to have met so many wonderful folks on both coasts and in between. Thank you for being entertaining and funny, for helping me and letting me help you, for telling it like it is and sharing your wisdom.

My home. I may wish I didn't live in a studio apartment in a dirty neighborhood with no parking. But I am fortunate to have any home at all and I know this.

My family. Thank you for conceiving me, for bearing me, for tolerating me over the last few decades.

My options. I am hugely thankful that I have had the opportunity to shape my own life. I have made mistakes and I have made wonderful decisions and I am all too aware that many of the globe's inhabitants are not so lucky. Having free will keeps every day exciting. I wake up daily--astounded by, and grateful for, the choices that are mine to make.