Friday, December 18, 2009

The office holiday party gift that keeps on giving.

Earlier this week, my department hosted its annual holiday party. This party is lovely and endearing for all of its predicatability. There will always be a domestic cheese platter. I will always eat too much. Someone will always get inappropriately drunk. But what spices the party up each year is the White Elephant gift exchange.

At this year's party I received this odd specimen of a gift to the left. A 'Crazy Cat Lady' Action Figure. I think the irony begins with the word 'action.' Isn't an inherent part of the Cat Lady's persona that she not get any action?

The toy is accompanied by a quiz on the back to sort out, at long last, if you are or are not a Crazy Cat Person. Some of the questions include...

* Do you get excited when you hear a can opener?
* Do you have more cats than ex-boyfriends?
* Do you bring new boyfriends home so the cats can meet them?
* Do you later break up with them because the cats weren't impressed?
* Do you own more than one piece of clothing with a cat on it?
* Do you feel that the ancient Egyptian tradition of cat worship is the one true religion?

To which I'd like to ask, 'So, what if I can say yes to one or more of these questions? What of it?' To which I'll add that I'm not admitting to any of this. I'm just asking. So I'll implore you to stop judging me.

Regardless, I'm really looking forward to Friday night at home to play with my, I mean play with my new action, I mean go out and get crazy. Cause I totally have a life.

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