Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The [un]official Etiquette Guide to the holiday party season.

Holiday party season has officially sprung upon Los Angeles. And my calendar's become so inundated with holiday party invites that it may die a slow and painful death of good cheer and mistletoe poisoning. Now, I'm equally at fault for the scheduling overload--I hosted my own holiday party last night--but my own mistakes quickly aside, I'd love to offer some etiquette tips for those participating in holiday festivities this season.

1. Compile a holiday wish list. No one wants to guess what you want. If you're into Hanna Montana--sure I'll judge you [and perhaps suggest counseling]--I'd rather get you the weird shit you want than present you with a [far more appropriate] gift you'll scoff at. You can view my very own wish list here (hint, hint).

2. Bring something to the party. You've been invited to those 15 parties (or maybe just that one depending on how [un]popular you are). And you can't show up empty handed. If you do, your host is put in the awkward position of having to pretend he or she is still glad you came. Believe me. He or she is not. For host gifts, I suggest a nice bottle of wine, something for the kitchen, or strippers depending on the nature of the party.

3. Don't bring stupid people. The dynamic of a party is all about its guests. If you've been invited to bring a guest, bring a good one. Guests who no one wants at the party include, but are not limited to, your little, underage sister (okay, some of the guys may actually be stoked she's there, but no--this is still not okay), your recently released convict pen pal, and the lonely and creepy mall Santa.

4. Don't make it all religious and stuff. The key to most holiday parties are that they're for everyone. Catholics attend Hannukah parties. Jews go to Christmas parties. And so on and so forth. So keep the religious stuff light, especially if the soiree's a 'holiday' party and you're not sure about the religious leanings of your host. Items not to bring include: crosses, menorahs, bibles. Safe items include: mistletoe, reindeer-shaped chocolates, board games and practical jokes.

Note: above is the 'holiday' tree that someone brought over for me recently. Note that though it looks like a 'Chrsitmas' tree, there is chocolate surrounding it. And chocolate makes everything secular.

Happy holidays everyone!

xo * Jessie B. R.

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