The office holiday party gift that keeps on giving.

Earlier this week, my department hosted its annual holiday party. This party is lovely and endearing for all of its predicatability. There will always be a domestic cheese platter. I will always eat too much. Someone will always get inappropriately drunk. But what spices the party up each year is the White Elephant gift exchange.

At this year's party I received this odd specimen of a gift to the left. A 'Crazy Cat Lady' Action Figure. I think the irony begins with the word 'action.' Isn't an inherent part of the Cat Lady's persona that she not get any action?

The toy is accompanied by a quiz on the back to sort out, at long last, if you are or are not a Crazy Cat Person. Some of the questions include...

* Do you get excited when you hear a can opener?
* Do you have more cats than ex-boyfriends?
* Do you bring new boyfriends home so the cats can meet them?
* Do you later break up with them because the cats weren't impressed?
* Do you own more than one piece of clothing with a cat on it?
* Do you feel that the ancient Egyptian tradition of cat worship is the one true religion?

To which I'd like to ask, 'So, what if I can say yes to one or more of these questions? What of it?' To which I'll add that I'm not admitting to any of this. I'm just asking. So I'll implore you to stop judging me.

Regardless, I'm really looking forward to Friday night at home to play with my cats....um, I mean play with my new action figure...um, I mean go out and get crazy. Cause I totally have a life.

Obsessions: Barbie + Christian Louboutin create a new modern classic.

Barbie is classic. Christian Louboutin is classic. Together, they are a force beyond reckoning with.

Next month, the world's most celebrated shoe designer and famed bobblehead beauty will release a collaborative doll that trades out Barbie's usual blond tresses and good girl looks with a red do and a leather ensemble on the verge of X-Rated.

For more info on this Barbie doll you'd be best to keep away from your children, visit Barbie Collector.

Obsessions: toys, ponies, and parks

Remember those toys you had when you were young--the ones that had you dreaming of moving into fantasy lands, eating ice cream all day, and living on a cloud? Be it a dollhouse or a maze--the toy land seemed magical and far more fun than real life (later on, you would come to realize this was entirely true and regret not spending more time playing Candyland, but that is neither here nor there).

Well, I don't know if I'm just having Neverland-related fantasies from all the Michael Jackson hype, or if this is actually the coolest toy set known to child. But I'm just head-to-toe excited about this My Little Pony Ponyville Sweet Sundae Amusement Park Play Set. Not only is the name so long it could entertain you for hours, if not days, but check out some of these highlighted features...

• It’s just another day at the park for you and your pony pal—the amusement park, that is—with this fun-filled play set
• Park includes a pony figure, an ice cream parlor play set, a roller coaster play set, a Ferris wheel play set and play accessories
• The fun and surprises don’t end until you turn out the lights at this adventure-filled amusement park
• Manufacturer's Suggested Age: 4 Years and Up

Well, color me excited and older than 4 years old--I want to move in! I vote for a life size build-out of the whole shebang.

* The website for Hasbro--maker of both Candyland and My Little Pony seems not to be working. Which makes me wonder--have they gone belly up like every other business in the 50 United States?

Toymaker Mattel takes a stab at telekinesis.

Recently, I've been plagued with the things I can't do. Not the things I never learned to do--like rise to prima ballerina status, save money, or speak Spanish--but rather, the things I can't, could never have, and will never be able to do. The other night, for instance, I tried to read my boyfriend's mind. Like, really tried. And just today at lunch, I was wondering what it might take for me to lift my tray off the table. How much energy would it take for me to lift one empty plate, some leftover corn and the cardboard box that had held my microwavable entree? My efforts to levitate the tray and its contents were failed.

I don't know if I read Matilda one too many times or if my great aunt's claims of levitation spooked me, but I've always felt my life would be a little closer to complete if I could control these body and mind functions.

Well, it appears, we are now one step closer to granting mind control powers to the masses. Mattel, the maker of kiddy favorites like Barbie and Hot Wheels, has launched Mindflex at the recent Consumer Electronics Show. The game allows users to move a ping-pong-sized ball through the space with their minds. While I'm not sure how appropriate the game is for kids, nor how long the entertainment would last, I'm intrigued. I want one. I think need to have one.

And on a side note, I'd really like to know how Mattel has not yet been condemned for separating its game list into Girls and Boys games. Seriously? It's 2009. Hotwheels aren't just for boys anymore. And last time I checked, the classic Magic 8 Ball wasn't a chick thing.

New York Times: Mattel Channels Obi-Wan "Stretch Out With Your Feelings"
Crunchgear: Hands on with Mattel's weird Mindflex Game