LA's Westside and I. A reconciliation.

I have talked sh*t about the Westside of Los Angeles for as long as I have lived on the city's other side--you know the section to the East of La Brea which anyone who lives there will tell you is superior. But with a recent job shift to Santa Monica [which is a city unto itself--a concept I still do not understand and only remember due to the strange looking street signs] and perhaps the fact that I am, ahem, getting older, I have recently considered taking the plunge, packing my boxes, and leaving skinny jeaned, indie loving hipsters for Birkenstock wearing, beach cruiser riding yogis. Horror of horrors--what has become of me??

I'll tell you--I think it's the quiet. And the closeness to the beach. And the higher percentage of trees to grit.

And this week I got a card to the Santa Monica Library. Which may not mean much to you. And, quite frankly, I only got so I could take out Spanish lanugage audiobooks. But to me it means Santa Monica in my wallet. And one step closer to a reconciliation, if not possible love affair, between the Westside and I.

Volcom wants to send you to Hawaii. Cause the surf's up dude.

To promote its Pipeline Pro surf competition, Volcom is using Culture Jam’s revolutionary CMS program, PromoJam, to create a viral buzz around the event. Fans are directed to Volcom’s Pipeline Pro Twitter Contest page where they can tweet for a download of Volcom’s ‘BS!‘ movie, gain access to a live webcast of the competition, and a chance to win a trip to next year’s Pipeline Pro (um, in HAWAII, dudes!!), along with other great prizes.

Tweet to win, friends.

[Full disclosure - I work for Culture Jam. So no, I can't win the trip. But you can!]

A [frugal] Jew's guide to Christmas Day.

I hate to perpetuate any stereotype--and I'm fully aware that Jews have a bum rap for being...how to put this nicely...well, frugal--but this member of the tribe is really and truly low on funds this holiday season. And in an ironic twist, I also happen to love Christmas. Hannukah--I can take it or leave it. Yom Kippur--I'm not going a whole day without food for anything, let alone repentance. But the bright lights, pine-scented trees, and fat, gray-haired, red-suited men of Christmas--this secular Jew will celebrate that any day of the year (well, namely just on December 25th).

This year, however, I'll be stuck in So Cal on Christmas Day--loved ones far away and nary a penny to spend on festivities.

So, here's how I'll be celebrating the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

• Cleaning. Cleaning is free. It is fun. It should take up at least 2.5 hours of my day. Which is a start.
• McDonald's. Did you know that Mickey D's is open on Christmas Day? Well, it is. At least the one in K-Town. Hopefully the checker-playing, elderly Korean men of the neighborhood will be out in full force. Because I will talk to them. And I will join in their checkers game. And I will lead them in Christmas songs. You know I'll do it.
• Movies. No, not the in-theatre kind. The rent 'em at Ralph's from the big vending machine for $1 / day kind.
• Wine. Can you say Two Buck Chuck anyone? Sure you can--just try it.

And if all else fails, I will find out where you are celebrating Christmas. And I will crash.

LaughTrack: Mandy Moore Gives Your Vagina Wings.

Mandy Moore's been trying to lose her good girl image since A Walk To Remember. We get it. She's a full grown woman now. She's married. She plays edgy bit roles in shows like, um, How I Met Your Mother.

But did you really think a spoof ad for high-energy douches would fast track you to bad girl infamy, Mandy? I'll have to ponder that while I go throw up a little bit in my mouth.

Red Bull Energy Douche with Mandy Moore from Mandy Moore

LaughTrack: the cast of The Hangover gives good sketch.

I don't know what The Hangover is about. Before the billboards appeared last month, I had never seen the bearded man who plays comedic sidekick to the handsome Bradley Cooper in the film. But as it turns out, Zach Galifianakis is the most engaging comedian I've seen in ages.

He is the comedian I would be if I were funny. And performing for a living. And incredibly and superbly amazing. He is the man I'd marry if he weren't a little overweight. And a stoner.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns