Two Months Off, A Photo Exhibition by Shane Redsar.

If you're not coming to my good friend, Shane Redsar's, show on Friday night, you're missing out. His work is incredible. And there's an open Asahi bar.

Thank you and goodnight and see you there.

A cynic's guide to St. Patrick's Day.

First of all, I had to google leprechaun to figure out how to spell it. Nothing should be that difficult. Second of all, it's St. Patrick's Day today, otherwise known as St. Patty's Day, more often known as a day of ridiculous drinking, debauchery, and green clovers.

I don't get it. Perhaps this has something to do with me growing up Jewish in Long Island. We are usually busy getting ready for Passover at this time of year--which is another holiday I don't understand--and it was never explained to me that drinking green beer, wishing on four leafed flowers, and believing in little people was celebratory.

But, for those of you who enjoy this sort of thing, here's my guide to a festive, greenwashed day of fun based on the things I know about St. Patrick's Day...

1 & 2. Drinking is a big part of this day, yeah? While all the other Irishmen and partygoers are seeking out bars with names like O'Dooles and Casey's Irish Pub, you can skip the lines and hit up Hooters. I assure you you'll find plenty of beer there. And you will probably get lucky too. Which kills two St. Patty's birds with one inebriated stone.

3. To my understanding, folks just love their leprechauns. Well, I looked up leprechauns in Wikipedia and apparently they're just "a type of Fairy...usually taking the form of an old man, clad in a red or green coat, who enjoys partaking in mischief." Keep this to yourself...but you can find one of these guys down on Skid Row. Just buy him a beer and he'll hang all night, I'm sure.

4. To me, green beer sounds like a recipe for food poisoning. For those who'd like to seem festive, but aren't at one of these pubs serving the colored ale, just throw some green liquid food coloring in your pocket before your night out. One drop of this stuff in your pitcher of Miller will have you seeing green all night. Awesome.

Safe and happy holidays to all. And top o' the morning to you. Or something like that.

Dos Equis: beermaster and spiritual advisor.

He has his very own academy.

At last count, he has 44,522 fans on Facebook.

He is The most Interesting Man in the World (the italics are intentional and effective), according to Dos Equis' ad men, and he's got one of the best ad campaigns I've seen in a while.

Driving through Los Angeles this week, I spotted a recent Dos Equis billboard. 'You only live once. Make sure it's enough,' The most Interesting Man forewarns us. And because this elusive figure in recent commercial fiction has been built up as a worldly and wise man, I take heed.

Since passing the billboard, the larger-than-life ad at the corner of Santa Monica and Virgil, I have indeed begun to question the extent to which I'm living my life. The office has begun to feel slightly like a prison--the sound of tapping on keyboards an increasingly dismal symbol of my worklife. The confines of my studio apartment seem to be growing smaller--the musical loop from the ice cream truck outside, louder every day.

I consider the options. I think of donning a smoking jacket, surrounding myself with beautiful women, and taking up cigars and beers. But I really dislike beer and quickly abandon that idea. I contemplate new careers--floral design?--but the Los Angeles community colleges are slashing budgets and I can't seem to find any interesting summer courses. I debate a trip. The Grand Canyon sounds nice, but my budget won't get me much farther than Palm Springs at present.

And so, with only the vague instruction of a completely fictitious character [and absolutely no ideas of my own], I begin a misguided journey toward a life of fulfillment...