Celebrating Valentine's Day: Arty Party + Naughty Nature + Eat Your Heart Out.

Valentine's Day is exactly 9 days away...not that anyone's counting...though you might have thought it had arrived weeks ago if the decorated aisles of your local pharmacy were any indication. But no--it's right around the corner now and, in a relationship or not, it's likely on your mind.

Here's one thing not to do on Valentine's Day: stay in. There is simply too much out there to do. Plus, staying in if you're single is sort of pitiful (sorry friends). And staying in if you're in a relationship is pretty flipping lazy.

There's an activity in LA for each of you--one as perfect for you as your other half (ew, gag). So buck up, grab your date [or at least a platonic friend who likes to make out when intoxicated], and get out there young lovers.

For the Art Freak

There's Lucent L'amore at the Shrine in Downtown LA. According to my very poor language skills, the name translates to light / the love. In reality, it translates to a multimedia bonanza for you and your sweetie. There will be installations including one from The Do Lab (you've seen 'em at Coachella), art from talented peeps like Kofie One and L. Croskey (the brains behind Cannibal Flower), and entertainment from the likes of N.A.S.A. and Lucent Dossier Experience. I'm not saying a bunch of folks at this humongo party will be tripping balls, but...no, I said I wasn't saying anything. Sober or--um, not--this event will surely provide enough mind-blowing distractions to entertain you on even the worst of Valentine's Day dates.

A Tip From Cupid: study up on the participating artists in advance and then say really smart and insightful things to impress your companion.

For the Nature Buff

There's always a hike. Cause nothing says romance like running out of breath and fainting at high altitudes. For the casual hiker there's Griffith Park (if you're not a casual hiker I'm not the person to talk to). Meet up at Trails Cafe where you and your new Craiglist Casual Encounters friend can caffeinate for the long walk ahead. If you're feeling lazy, order a sandwich and call off the hike. If you're really going to spend your Valentine's Day sweating, start up the trail and be sure to veer off to find Dante's Peak, a lovely little garden meets overlook meets picnicking spot.

A Tip From Cupid: try not to look as geeky as these kids in the picture here. Also, if you plan on getting frisky on the trail, bring a blanket. Getting weeds up your butt's not romantic.

For the Desert Duo

If nothing turns you and your lov-ah on like cactii and antique shopping, pack your bags and get out of town. Palm Springs is just a road trip and one very romantic iTunes compilation away. On the 13th, the Coachella Valley Arts Scene is hosting Doo Wop in the Desert - A Retro Valentine's Dance at the Ace Hotel Palm Springs. So get your semi-formal vintage out, your dancing shoes on, and your significant other in the car for a desert romance.

For the Hungry

Depending on how well you know your date, eating a large meal may not be advisable on V Day. But if you and your honey are close enough to feel bloated with each other, make a reservation (like yesterday) and dine, drink and then do (I mean, um, talk with) your date at one of these eateries offering prix fixe or holiday special offerings: Grace Restaurant (yes, there's a Ring Ding on the dessert menu), Bottega Louie (you'll be thanked for the ordering the macarons), or Real Food Daily (who says love can't come in the form of tofu everything).

A Tip From Cupid: do yourself and your date a favor. Don't overeat. Don't order things that 'disagree' with you. Bring an after dinner mint. Make that two.

Whatever you do this February 14th, be sure to remember that your lovely, local blogger needs love too. All Valentine's Day cards, chocolates, and other romantical and/or cash gifts can be sent directly to me. Thanks much and happy early lovey-dovey Hallmark Holiday.

[Main Image - Teointarifa]

Matzoh and mayhem: the plight of an unleavened Passover pastry.

I am back from the shortest seder I have ever attended. This is the way seders should always have been. I might not have abandoned religion had Passover dinners always been this brief. Growing up, dragged to family members' houses for yearly torture at the dinner table, I used to count the pages in the haggadah, over and over and over again. 'We've gone through 4 pages, there are 77 left,'...'On page 5 now. Only 76, godawful, painstakingly slow pages left to get through.' And so on and so forth. Tonight, the story of the Jews' exodus from Egypt read more like a tabloid than a religous service. I heard 'Moses.' I heard 'Matzoh.' I heard 'wine.' And that was enough for me.

To all of you Jews more religious than myself--well, you're probably still reading about locusts. I'm sorry.

To those of my beloved Goys out there, may you find a chocolate bunny in your easter egg this weekend and may you celebrate the resurrection of Christ in the most fabulous bonnet you can find.

Kisses and unleavened hugs,
Jessie B. R.

The RSVP Line: The Travel & Adventure Show. Because you are so desperately alone on Valentine's Day.

Maybe you're completely and hopelessly single with nothing at all to do on Valentine's Day but stay home alone, wallowing in your very deep despair and terribly tragic self-pity. Or perhaps you're coupled, but dating someone who's thought of nothing romantic to do this weekend, save his presentation of a plastic-wrapped box of Whitman's chocolate. Well, either way, it sounds like you're an excellent candidate for Travel & Adventure Show attendance! Hosted by the Los Angeles Times, the show will feature aisles and aisles [and aisles] of cities, countries and travel-related businesses to browse through. (I am available to accompany you on any trips, assuming my travel is paid for.)

More important to you, there will be a zip-line, rock-climbing, a dive pool (yes, there are wetsuits), a surf simulator, segways, and other fun [and slightly dangerous] activities.

And then there's the Culinary Stage, which I am uber excited for. Chef Evan Kleiman, owner/chef of Angeli Caffe will be demoing and sampling her Ricotta Beet Gnochetti. I tasted these last week during dineLA. And they are pretty f-ing good. Then there will be the other samples that you and your meat-eating friends can try in my stead.

Hope to see you this weekend folks.

Kisses and Valentine's Day hugs,
Jessie B. R.

Photo Credit: Falling Creek.com

Multiple reasons to hate the mall. At the holidays and all year round.

The mall, more specifically the Beverly Center, is pretty bad on a daily basis. Amongst the reasons I'm not a fan:

The headless mannequins (pictured left).

The more 'mature' ladies in the shoe department shopping for inappropriately high heels. Parading around in mini skirts and asking their friends, 'do these look alright on me?' Well no, deary, they don't! Perhaps we'd all be better off if you'd visit the orthopedic shoe store on level one and ask your tailor to add 10 inches back to that skirt.

The couples who hold hands on the escalators making it impossible to pass by.

And the countless employees in the department stores asking if I'd like to 'try the best cologne in the world.' No, I've already stocked up on my Jessica Simpson scent for 2009, thank you.

But during the holidays, the place becomes--simply put--unbearable. I entered the Beverly Center yesterday to find this picture of holiday unholiness (pictured left) outside of Macy's. That's right. One of Santa's stilettoed sluts wearing next to nothing chatting up little children. Imagine--this little boy will grow up to think it's ok to sit in a nearly naked lady's lap and ask her for 'presents.' Would you let your child talk with this lady? (If the answer is yes, it's probably best not to tell me.)

Worst of all, a young lady had a baby chihuahua on the floor of the crowded mall. A. You are not supposed to have young puppies out and about. B. If something's smaller than a purse and not attached to a body, I may just step on it. C. She let it pee on the floor! Seriously!? Just because it's cute, doesn't mean I want to step in it's urine while I'm on my way to Bloomingdale's.

Looking for a more tolerable shopping experience this holiday season? I suggest taking the trip to the Brentwood Country Mart. It's quaint, it's outdoors and it smells like the Amish Country. And rich people. And most impressively, it's got Los Angeles' only City Bakery, serving the best hot chocolate there is.



Best of luck on your shopping experiences this December.

Holiday cheers,
Jessie

We Like to Party: We went Doooowntoooown.

Cult classic Little Shop of Horrors got it right when they described downtown...

Downtown...Where the folks are broke.
Downtown...Where your life's a joke.
Downtown...When you buy your token,
you go...Home to skid row.

And here in Los Angeles, downtown still fits this description better than the downtown area of any other city I've visited.

Efforts to revitalize the area, made by neighborhood councils, development companies, and local businesses include frequent events meant to make downtown's new and desirable residents feel like there is indeed a community there--that they are not alone in their expensive lofts. That despite the remaining missions and shopping cart communities, the lack of schools or health facilities, the absence of all but one supermarket, they live in a vibrant, artistic, thriving neighborhood. On weekends like this past one, you almost believe they hype.

In honor of 'Repeal Day'--this year the 75th marker since the end of prohibition--Dewar's celebrated all around Downtown, a neighborhood where the brand has really made its mark. We attended the private party held by Dewar's at Seven Grand, Downtown nightlife empasario, Sed Moses' whisky bar. Complimentary hats, boas, whisky (courtesy of Dewar's), food (courtesy of Casey's Irish Pub), music (courtesy of DJ Daisy O and Foreign Born and others), and comedy was served.

Fun fact: Whisky can apparently be spelled 2 ways. I always assumed it was spelled with an 'e,' as in whiskey. On Friday, I noticed that all of Dewar's collateral spells it without the 'e,' as in whisky. In an effort to be open-minded, I've begun spelling it the latter way.

Not so fun fact: Apparently Irish food consists of very little vegetarian fare, as I discovered on Friday night when even the vegetables were wrapped in meat. Hence, my leaving early, before the fun was finished.

Last night, we travelled downtown again for the Old Bank District's holiday block party. Hosted by Gilmore Associates, the development company that essentially owns the entire district and Little Radio, the downtown music and party staple, the evening was a coming together of the restaurants, arts community and musical curators of the area. A light installation, pictured left added a festive feel to the streets.

Take a look closer and notice the parking restrictions that make having a car in Downtown such a pleasure. I guess this would be the optimum moment to plug the DASH. But seeing as I've never rode public transportation in LA, that would make me feel like a big, fat liar.

We popped into Bar 107, where I discovered for the first time, the incredibly kitschy and fun back room, complete with a van door-framed bar.

We stopped into one of the local gallery spaces where a cigarette-girl type accompanied one of the pieces. She was selling $10 chocolate bars, promising that one of the bars contained a 'golden ticket' that would win me the entire installation. The installation was comprised of a grafitied wall, cardboard boxes and, well, her. Ah, downtown arts.

Leaving the well-lit streets of the Old Bank District we headed further East into the less-developed Industrial District where architecture students and hobos still reign supreme. On a little block of 3rd Street, a few businesses have popped up, adding a glimmer of commercialism and tasty eats to an otherwise bleak area.

Upon leaving our darling friend Jackie's birthday party at Blue Dahlia Cafe, we encountered a homeless man pissing on the corner of a parked Prius. This is the downtown LA's known for years. This is the downtown LA that is being hidden behind street fests and sushi restaurants. Hey, if I were a bum that had been bussed here only to have a luxury loft condo built on my block a decade later...I might piss on your hybrid too.

Photo credits: Doo-wop girls - Little Shop of Horrors, Photos 2, 3, 4, 5 - Jessie B. R.

Republicans. They're just like us.

I am the first to admit I don't know enough about American politics. I am in the dark on most issues of the current election. Though I aim to learn more, my occasional 10 minute tune-ins to am talk radio haven't yet turned me into the educated, politically savvy student of politics I hope to be in time for, oh say, the November 4th elections.

In the meantime, I am finding ways to relate to candidates on both sides in a fair and unbiased attempt to form my opinion. Though the McCain/Palin ticket has not impressed me to this point, it comforted me to see the pair so excited about chocolate. You see, in the picture below, the dynamic team as excited about the sweets shoppes behind them as they are about wrenching rights from women across the nation. And while I can't stand behind the McCain/Palin pro-life agenda, nor his too-close-to-death biology, nor her awful taste in suits...I can stand behind chocolate. Finally, a platform I can believe in. Chocolate for the Democrats! Chocolate for the Republicans! Heck even for the Independents! Chocolate for boys and girls everywhere!!

[Photo credit: NY Times]