Monday, December 28, 2009

Greetings from the armpit of America...Vegas, that is.

I know you've been wondering where I've been this week...all two of my readers, that is. Well, I arrived to Las Vegas yesterday--ya know, the city of mirrored hotel facades and dirty hookers--for work. Despite regular showers, I have felt dirty since landing here. The entire city stinks of cigarette smoke, the sky is gray, and there are billboards everywhere for strip clubs and Penn & Teller who I really thought had been eaten by tigers years ago. Instead of candies on my hotel room pillows there was a menu for 'Whipper Ticklers' and crotchless bikini bottoms. I don't want to be a 'naughty ballerina.' I just wish there were better free toiletries in the bathroom. On Day One I lost $3 on a 'Sex and the City' slot machine. The only place I could find to eat lunch was Pink Taco. The chips were great, I'll admit, but I prefer not to dine at eating establishments named after my private parts. The only daylight I've seen on Day Two was via a ride to Del Taco. I will be here for 3 more days and you may not hear from me again. But please--if I don't correspond again by end of week--send a search party to my hotel and the Spearmint Rhino. Thanks and I hope to see you on the flip side.

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