Shop: from samples to sexy to Saks.

I can go weeks without shopping--to do so, I adopt a mature goal of saving and a self-righteous attitude toward the materialism that drives others to spend their cash. Well, let me tell you...this is not me. I'd rather have new sunglasses today than an extra grand in my Roth IRA next year. And as for materialism--I find about as much wrong with material goods as I do with clean water--both, as far as I'm concerned, are essentials. Which is why my hiatuses from shopping only last as long as I keep anywhere that sells anything out of sight.

So, today, when I decided that I'd allow myself one new dud (or two) for my birthday, things didn't go so well. I started out at the Paige Premium Denim Sample Sale at Siren Studios in Hollywood. I bought a pair of jeans that are slightly too big and these bright blue denim shorts. Because a) they were on SALE, obviously!, b) who doesn't need a pair of bright blue denim shorts?! Especially when the summer's almost done. Um, right, and c) sometimes, when stripping naked in front of a large room of other frantic shoppers and male security checks, the only obvious way you can see yourself out of your butt naked situation is the cash register. (I regret to say this sale is ending in less than 10 minutes--sorry friends.)

Next, I hit the mall to pick up a dress for my upcoming [belated] birthday party. This stop was essential. Every girl should feel special on her [belated] birthday. Especially when she's turning the big 2-5 [again]. In a building that screams overpriced, tacky, Los Angeles (aka, the Beverly Center), there is one store that generally promises stylish pieces (outside of the Ed Hardy genre), a lovely staff, and good sales--Traffic Los Angeles. Once you forgive the sort-of cheesy name, you'll find brands inside that you're not totally embarrassed to wear. I picked up a dress from one of my favorite LA designers, Society for Rational Dress, for under $200. I'll be wearing it next Friday at my [belated] soiree. Primarily cause I really like it. Also, because sale items are non-returnable. Oops.

I just arrived home, multiple bags in hand--relieved that I'd made it back to K-Town without having overdrawn on my debit card--when I open my mailbox to find a postcard from Saks Fifth Avenue. The flyer claims the "Best. Sale. Ever!!!" How can I turn down "up to 80% off women's designer collections from Saks stores around the country, all in one place for the first time ever.' That would be insane. This sale is insane. I've got to go. It's net Thursday, August 27 to Monday, September 7. It's at the Saks at The Shops at Mission Viejo. I have zero idea where Mission Viejo is. But I'll be there.