Fitting into my financial jeans for summer.

I have probably bought about 4 dresses in the last month. Then there was the pair of Louboutins that I ordered on that great sale online. The shoes, mind you, don't actually go with any of the dresses. They don't really go with much in fact. They were just sort of fantastic, you know? I'll need to get additional pumps to match my new dresses. In time for the weddings for which I'm still in need of gifts. And hotel rooms. And airfare. There have also been the dinners. The dinners and the lunches and the brunches out. Out at nice restaurants because I just can't be bothered to cook.

Which is all to say that I've gone a bit over budget in recent weeks. I know this first because one couldn't possibly buy that many dresses and stay under budget, second because I came daringly close to a scarcity of funds come rent time, and lastly because I have an account with Mint.com which emails me regularly to let me know I've gone over my budget for shopping and dining out or rental cars and all sorts of other categories of my financial life in which I'd love to spend frivolously.

And while I've miraculously not hit rock bottom yet (there's only so far down you can go when you don't possess a credit card), I decided I'd better put a stop to all this tossing around of money I've got no business spending so long as I still live in a cruddy studio apartment in Koreatown. So I've declared a spending freeze for myself. Well, more like a spending diet as there are some things a girl can't live without. In fact, I've listed just these things that I can't live without and these are the only things I'm permitting myself to buy between the diet's start date (this past Monday) and its completion on April 16th (that is 19 long days away).

Things I'm allowed:

* Groceries (not of the overpriced Whole Foods variety--just normal, staple items which should prevent one from achieving malnutrition)
* Toilet Paper
* Gasoline (not for long road trips, but for the necessary rides to work and other places sprawling Los Angeles demands one travel to)
* Rent & Bills (I am not trying to get evicted during this experiment)

What this means for me...

* Finding a suitable dress out of my own closet should yet another wedding, function or excuse for new clothing crop up between now and the 16th.
* Deleting each of the 10+ shopping newsletters and alerts which appear in my inbox each day. Even if the sale seems too good to pass on. Even if the sale is so unbelievably wonderful that it seems completely irrational and crazy and stupid not to buy and buy now.
* Packing my lunch. Which seems unnecessarily cruel to myself (you would agree if you knew what a poor cook I was).
* Resisting the desire to go to Target to 'see if there's anything I need.' (As it turns out, there is always something I need when I walk into a shop with more than 1 aisle. And usually 'something' costs upwards of $100.)

What my goals are...

* I'm hoping to successfully resist the desire to jump on this season's trend bandwagons until the season has passed. No one really needs a platform wedge for Spring.
* To come out of this experimental diet both alive and with the funds to purchase a new Mac Book Pro and DSLR camera--items with which I can get both practical work done and begin on creative projects I've been stalling on.
* To pad my savings account by at least $500 more than was in there previously.

It all seems pretty simple, yes? Well, let me tell you that this frugality business is hard. And I will also, in the name of full disclosure, tell you that I had a moment of weakness last night. Yes, it was only day 4. And no, it wasn't for toilet paper. I was cold. I needed an extra layer. I didn't have time to stop home to grab something. And yes, I stopped into the nearest American Apparel and I came face to face with this season's nautical trend which I'd promised myself I wouldn't succumb to (nautical was so 2004 after all). And I bought that red and blue striped sweater, damn me. And next thing you know I'm thinking of that one floral accent piece I could really use to finish my Spring wardrobe and the sandals I should really pick up before they're sold out of stores before Summer. But...I will return that sweater tonight. And I will [try not to] think twice about it. It will be a wash and one I can live with.

And thus begins my financial dietary journey. Check back with me in the coming weeks to see how I'm doing, share your budgeting tips, and possibly offer to buy me a drink.

Little Red Riding Hood. Digitized for 2009.

I came across this cool video via Very Short List this morning. It's a design student's digitally-enhanced, uber-smart take on the Brothers Grimm's tale, Little Red Riding Hood.

Ok, so the story may not be as quaint when you know Grandma's nutritional breakdown and the cost of the hunter's outfit. But it's a whole lot cooler.


Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

[Very Short List: Girl in the Hood]

2009 in. With resolve.

The picture above is one of the last images my poor eyes saw in 2008. Forget all the worst dressed lists in the usual rags--I am here to tell you I saw the worst up front and personal. And my corneas are still healing. In line to return some items at Target, I witnessed the biggest fashion faux pas of 2008, if not perhaps the decade. Sparkly denim pockets, a bedazzled zip-up sweatshirt, and a striped back-pack (yes, that's right, back-pack) emblazoned with an image of the Jonas Brothers. The culprit--a middle-aged woman. I pray for her.

And with that, on to 2009, a year I hope to be filled with wonderful things, people and experiences. In honor of the long-standing tradition of resolutions, I present you with mine:

Jessie B. R.'s Top Resolutions for 2009

1. To bring prosperity to my life (according to my bank statements, it can only go up from here).

2. To welcome happiness into my days (this is easy--stock freezer with more Haagen Dazs).

3. To be tolerant of people from whom I am different (this would really go smoothly if other people would stop being such biatches).

4. To eat a balanced and healthy diet (I'm not yet sure how to resolve this with #2).

I look forward to sharing my progress with you over the next 12 months. Here's to health, wealth and a kick-ass 2009 my friends.

xo * Jessie. B. R.

Photo Credit: Jessie B. R. (she wishes she could forget this image, but she took it for you, dear readers)

Special delivery. One rich bitch.

When talking of the things I'd never done before, I used to be able to count ordering items off the radio amongst them. That was before last Saturday. Maybe it's been the general economic climate. Maybe it was a suspicion that my employer would file for Chapter 11 just two days laster. Or maybe it was just the early morning, pre-caffeine haze clouding my judgement. But as I drove along, listening to the paid programming that's airing more often now on my am news station, I was enraptured.

Loral Langemeier was being 'interviewed' on the air about her wealth-building philosophies--essentially that each of us can be rich--a millionaire, she'd say. And it's by capitalizing on things you're already doing. Let's say you're always watching the neighbors' kids...start a day care business. Perhaps you just love to knit...start ebaying those scarves in your closet (just because your family thinks they're awful doesn't mean someone in Alaska won't need one come winter). Or maybe you're already sleeping around town like a wild rabbit...well, get paid for those hours honey!

Since I already have hobbies--I like to write, I like taking walks, I like cleaning my sock drawer--I figured one of these interests might be sellable. Why not start a business of separating out my tall socks from the short ones?

I arrived home tonight with a reminder of this car ride--the call I hurriedly made and the conversation I had with a gentleman who asked what my financial goals were, tried to sell me a 'free' series of books and cds, and gladly took my VISA number. My book and CD (free, but for $9.99 shipping and tax) had arrived!

It was only now that I thought to do a little research on Loral. I've learned that her company, Live Out Loud, doesn't take too kindly to cancellations and isn't that keen on refunds. One woman calls her 'a crook.' Another warns that she'll 'sleep with your husband.' Well, luckily I'm not married. And I don't have much to steal. But needless to say, I might have looked into this before I provided my home address and banking info to her cronies on the phone.

In the event that I am evicted next week due to overdue payments I didn't realize I'd owe to the 'Loral Langemeier Knows I'm an Idiot and Will Buy Anything' Foundation, I'm going to get to reading my free 'Millionaire Maker' book tonight and listening to the free CD as soon as possible.

Here's to a richer tomorrow,
Your friend [the sucker] Jessie B. R.

Food find (budget edition): Osteria Mozza, Nobu West Hollywood, Rice + Beans

Here are things that people do during a recession: save their money, eat at home, NOT go out to expensive dinners. Here are things people like me do: ignore the recession, buy new boots, eat dinner at Osteria Mozza, the famed Batali restaurant (an offshoot of the next door Mozza Pizzeria).

My friend and I visited there last week, despite their reputation for a month long wait for reservations. Apparently the recession has hit Batali's business as well, as we waited only 20 minutes for a table. Each of us ordered the Pomodoro Gnocchi. Let me translate this for those of you who might visit as well: child's size portion. Now, I understand that nicer restaurants focus on the quality and presentation of their food over heaping portions. But in economic times like these, I prefer the increased portion sizes of chain outlets like Pizza Hut--currently touting their Panormous pie, the 'BIGGEST pan pizza ever' to servings that should come with a microscope. Lesson learned, I'll take processed cheese over fresh burrata until my 401 k comes back to life.

Speaking of eating on a budget, I recently read about Nobu West Hollywood's 'Recovery Menu.' Though I'm not a seafood eater, I thought I'd share what sounds like a decent deal with you.

Score Nobu staples inlcuding rock shrimp tempura and the miso cod at a [relatively] decent price (most items are under 10 bucks), along with [relatively] reduced-price cocktails.

As for me, I'll be sticking with rice and beans for the next month or so. May I recommend my favorite: Zatarain's Red Beans and Rice. It may not be 5 star, but it's less than 5 dollars.

I graduated from Wesleyan University. Shouldn't I be smarter?

Last night I went to a reception for my alma mater, Wesleyan University. The reception, meant to part alumnae with their money--supposedly earned in plenitude since graduation--made me realize just how little I'm making in relation to former classmates, who've opted for more lucrative careers as agents, filmmakers, financial planners, prostitutes, etc. The entire evening reminded me of my college years--how long it took me to realize that though my friends would party til all hours, they were actually spending their days in the library, bettering themselves and earning A's. That while Wesleyan students gave the illusion of being crazier than a pack of rabid wolves, they were actually rather bright and committed to their work. That I was the near the only one who was doing the nighttime rounds but taking off the days too.

And now in adulthood, I'm realizing that my peers have duped me once again. All four years of protesting commercialism and 'the man' were quickly traded for high-paying jobs and suits in the real world. So, while I've been thinking that 'no, money doesn't matter!,' it's the 'integrity' of what I'm doing that really makes the difference, I've been fiscally surpassed by nearly everyone I graduated with, and probably those who came after me as well.

It seems the only thing to do is to ask the University for reimbursement of funds lost while I was holding on the the supposed ideals of the institution. That and for a refresher course in harsh reality.