Glamorous: the real behind the scenes of the making of an award show.

When you think Award Show, you may think red carpet, celebrities, mediocre jokes.

Well, the truth behind award shows can be found in some behind the scenes pictures from our WMMA Awards production office below. They feature not fancy gowns nor famous mugs, but food, food, more food, and then some recycled meeting room air. Guest starring late night loopiness and frozen yogurt trips. Also, a cameo with our Coordinating Producer and one of our fave UFC fighters, Jon Jones, who came by to grab his tickets and provide a brief moment of reprieve.

And the award for most innovative pickle goes to...

Tonight marks the 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards. Living in Los Angeles, that translates to street closures, high traffic at highly unusual times of the day, and parties. Oh, the parties. But beside the unwelcome interruption to my routine, award shows mean exactly nothing to me. I'd rather spend 4 hours watching reruns of Little House on the Prairie. Or maybe slowly filing my toenails.

If I had to sit in the audience of an award show, however, here are some shows I could possibly tolerate more than I can our film and TV accolades. And I sense the egos of award winners might be less as well.

Name of Award: The Briney
Category: Pickles

Name of Award: The Money Shaker
Category: Creativity in Panhandling

Name of Award:The Orange Jumpsuit
Category: Best in Celebrity Arrests

Name of Award: The Twit
Category: Inane Use of Twitter

Name of Award: The Get Me a Coffee
Category: Assistants to Award Winners

Oscar Style - the good, the bad, and the odd.

Last night, the stars came out for the Academy Awards. Some with class and style. Others with, well, see for yourself below...

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

Emmy beauties, busts and breasts.

I don't watch award shows. I don't watch enough TV to know who half the 'talent' are (Do Survivor contestants really count as talent? Seriously??) and I don't have a long enough attention span to sit through  the obligatory thank you speeches (to managers, to mothers, to lovers, to mistresses, to podiatrists) that follow.

What I do on award nights is generally a) work, and b) judge the stars and their hideous, hugely public mistakes.

Below--a recap of the stars that shone. And those who have clearly gone off their meds and fired their stylists.

THE SHINERS

Kate Walsh - I both admire that color on you and also the way your breasts are doing their thing in a dress that is clearly not meant to support adult size anatomy. Well done.

I know that cancer research is a priority, but shouldn't scientists be investigating how Heidi Klum maintains such a perfectly round, beach ball-esque bump?

Toni Collette--you go girl. That's all I have to say. You GO!

 

Olivia Wilde was the stunner of the night. I saw this dress in person and it was just as magnificent as it looks in the pictures. How it stays on is anyone's guess, but damn it looks good once it's on.

 In fact, she looked so good, the goodness warrants two pictures. Gorgeous.

THE STINKERS

Let's get the worst out of the way immediately. Because I need to address this and then never look back. Victoria Rowell. I'm gonna be real. I have absolutely no idea who you are. But friend--this dress is not ok. It is not even ok in some alternate universe where awful style is acceptable and you can dress like a blue dollar bill. The only thing that is redeeming about this dress is that there are no sleeves. Because any more of this pattern and I might have become severely ill.

I'm not sure what it is about this dress. But Mila Kunis evokes an image for me of Glenda, the Good Witch. Just imagine a wand in her right hand. Close your eyes. Click your heels three times. Make a wish. And perhaps this outift might start to look better.

I adore Patricia Arquette. She's my favorite Arquette, in fact. I adore Medium. I think Medium should win lots and lots of Emmy awards. I do not adore this dress or the gigantic mountain of a breast that's emerging from it however.

Til the next award show and the next style catastrophe,
Jessie B. R.

Awards, assaults and after parties.

You know you work in Hollywood when you can describe the previous night's activities in this way...

* Fought off herds of burly paparrazi men [and that one, sad femme pap as well, poor thing] as they stormed party arrivals.
* Nearly swiped someone's Emmy whilst tidying up a table.
* Hit a famed comedienne in the face (accidentally, accidentally).

You know you live in Koreatown when you can describe the later part of the night's activities in this way...

* Couldn't find a parking spot.
* Walked a 1/4 mile home in the dark, praying to make it to the door alive.
* Discovered a shortage of running water upon arrival home and had to wash soap off hands with bottled water.

Wow, Chris Brown, wow.

Just heard about Chris Brown's arrest during E!'s red carpet Grammy coverage.

Couldn't you have curbed your assault and battery urges til after the show, Chris?! And beating on a woman? C'mon--that's just lame. You're lame, Chris Brown. Lame.

[EW.com: Chris Brown sought in connection with felony battery]