Clowns and romance...Good morning Los Angeles.

Clowns. Romance. Acceptance. What better way to begin a Sunday morning.



Well, ok. Maybe sex, diet coke, and the NY Times' Weddings & Celebrations section would be better. But let's take what we can get here, ok people?

[You Tube: Ingrid Michaelson Video of 'The Way I Am', directed by Autumn de Wilde]

Life in clubLAnd: Studio Apartment

I rocked out last night. No, seriously, I ROCKED out.

6:30 p - Early Bird Dinner compiled from items purchased on recent trip to Ralph's, as well as found [food] objects from the fridge.

7:30 p - CSI Miami marathon...all watched on my computer. Who knew the autopsy doctor was popping prescription pills!?

10:30 p - Suze Orman's tips for the Young, Fabulous and Broke. Read from the comfort of bed.

12:00 a - Pass. Out.

Listen, it's a tough door at my studio apartment. I'm not promising you can just waltz right in and enjoy the most rocking spot in clubLAnd. But slip a twenty to the bouncer and who knows. Next hot night...probably tonight.

Well the sun goes down and the clock says eight,
I better get dress cuz i don't wanna be late,
I don't wanna be late-cuz there's a lot to do,
I'm gonna change my clothes,
Put on my stiletto shoes,
Put on my eyeliner and my lipstick too,
So c'mon- we're gonna party till the break of dawn.
- The Eyeliners

[Image Credit: Getty Images]

Ed Hardy in Downtown (or how to ruin a neighborhood)

You can call it what you want (atrocious, tacky, the end of an era--all come to mind), but I'll officially caption this picture--taken on a stroll down Downtown's Spring Street today--'When Bad Things Happen to Good Neighborhoods.' Guh-ross.

Dos Equis: beermaster and spiritual advisor.

He has his very own academy.

At last count, he has 44,522 fans on Facebook.

He is The most Interesting Man in the World (the italics are intentional and effective), according to Dos Equis' ad men, and he's got one of the best ad campaigns I've seen in a while.

Driving through Los Angeles this week, I spotted a recent Dos Equis billboard. 'You only live once. Make sure it's enough,' The most Interesting Man forewarns us. And because this elusive figure in recent commercial fiction has been built up as a worldly and wise man, I take heed.

Since passing the billboard, the larger-than-life ad at the corner of Santa Monica and Virgil, I have indeed begun to question the extent to which I'm living my life. The office has begun to feel slightly like a prison--the sound of tapping on keyboards an increasingly dismal symbol of my worklife. The confines of my studio apartment seem to be growing smaller--the musical loop from the ice cream truck outside, louder every day.

I consider the options. I think of donning a smoking jacket, surrounding myself with beautiful women, and taking up cigars and beers. But I really dislike beer and quickly abandon that idea. I contemplate new careers--floral design?--but the Los Angeles community colleges are slashing budgets and I can't seem to find any interesting summer courses. I debate a trip. The Grand Canyon sounds nice, but my budget won't get me much farther than Palm Springs at present.

And so, with only the vague instruction of a completely fictitious character [and absolutely no ideas of my own], I begin a misguided journey toward a life of fulfillment...

Highlights from New York: The Hudson Hotel, Sweat Shoppes, and Virgin America

I went to New York last week. These were the highlights of four and a half days on the other coast...

* I flew Virgin America for the first time. Overrated, but inexpensive. And we like inexpensive. We also like touch screen snack menus.

* The terminal waiting area provided for some interesting people watching. For instance...

These two men were obviously interested in chatting. Their stances say 'I want to talk to you. Talking will probably make this wait time go faster. But let's leave these two seats between us. I can barely hear you from here. So speak up. But please don't lean in too close as we might appear too close. And that is one step away from gay.'

This blonde woman was very excited to see her friend (not pictured). She tried for minutes to move her face in such a way that would express this sentiment before relinquishing to the fact that she could no longer smile due to excessive cosmetic surgery.

* I stayed at the Hudson Hotel. The single room I slept in may very well be the smallest hotel room known to the Western hemisphere. But for $140 a night, I would have shared a cardboard box with an escaped convict. The room was cheap, so I won't complain that the hallway on the 14th floor smelled like sweat. I'll just mention it briefly. The hallway sort of smelled like a locker room. Everything else was lovely. Seriously. I'd stay here again in a heartbeat.

* I stopped by Topshop's much-buzzed about new store in Soho. The multilevel boutique, full of youthful fashions and neon wares, felt like the lovechild of H&M and the 80s. Some luster was definitely lost at seeing the shop in person. But I was excited to find a lower-priced line from denim brand Radcliffe.

* I saw young, drunk love on the subway train.

* I visited my mother in Long Island where the mall boasts stores with original and descriptive names like 'Sweats & Jeans,' and knife demos happen on the hour at Sears.

"New York is the dirtiest, largest, ugliest, broken-down city in the world--but it's the only one."
- Isaac Stern

Life in clubLAnd: Happy Hour at The Terrace at XIV

Last night launched the start of an amazing summer happy hour at The Terrace at XIV, SBE's culinary cornerstone on Sunset. Chef Michael Mina has made the restaurant famous for its wide selection of gourmet goodies and tasting menus, including a substantial selection of vegetarian and even vegan menu items (hoorah!). The restaurant has also earned infamy for a lesser known partner called sky-high prices. But cheapskates, foodies and funseekers can rejoice together at the newly debuted specials offered between 6 and 8 pm, Tuesday through Saturday, all summer long. Drink specials, made special by Krol Vodka and some nice handiwork by the bartenders, are just $6. A small menu of apps from the restaurant are available for $6. And the valet, if you arrive before 7 p, is on hand for...you guessed it...$6.

Last night, my happy hour buddy sampled the lobster corn dogs (I'm sure they were called something more impressive)...

And I chowed down on the best popcorn I've ever eaten (and I've eaten a lot, my friends). Black truffle oil should be a mandate in movie houses across the country...

I'll be returning some night soon for popcorn on the patio. You should join me. With prices like these, I may even be buying.

Sounds of the rainforest.

This morning--as I return from the bustle of New York (more on the trip later) to the dreariness of my office--the emails, the endless paperwork and requests from coworkers--I'm listening to the sounds of the Costa Rican Rainforest via this YouTube video. And it is somehow--almost--keeping me sane.



And then I realize that if sitting at my desk, listening to nature sounds through a pair of headphones is a welcome change, it may be time to reevaluate my life.

[YouTube: Rainforest Sound]

The Pictures: Julie and Julia

Maybe it's because I can't cook. Maybe it's because I feel a little bit lost like Amy Adam's character Julie. Maybe it's because Meryl Streep's impersonation of Julia Child is so endearing. Maybe it's because I feel inspired by Julie Powell's desire to accomplish something, albeit something as strange as cooking each and every one of Julia Child's recipes in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Maybe it's because I just love to eat. But I am now dying to see Julie and Julia, screenwriter Nora Ephron's (When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail) latest and greatest, out this summer.



Julie and Julie Trailer [YouTube via New York Magazine]

Straight Talk About Swine Flu from the '70s

The take-away lessons from these 1970's PSAs about the swine flu...

1. You may be strong as an ox. But swine is stronger.

2. Sharing is fun til someone drops dead.

Good luck out there compadres,
Jessie

Quitting in the Mushroom Kingdom

An Australian game developer channels Super Mario and announces his resignation via his own game creation. Totally, completely, out-of-control A-mazing.

Play the game here. I'm sure you can get further than I did. My keyboard skills aren't quite up to snuff.

Xs & Os: Couple takes kooky to next level.

This couple really takes the cake (no pun intended). Featured in this past Sunday's NY Times' Weddings & Celebrations section, Michelle Rosen and David Zornitsky pronounced their 20 year love before love before family and friends (this is his second and her third nuptials) at Dylan's Candy Bar in Manhattan, where the bride wore a dress of candy wrappers and "their 50 guests dined on peanut butter and jelly tarts and candy sushi."

Ok, I get it. You gave him gummi bears on the first day you met. Love is sweet. Your lips are like sugar. So on and cheesy so forth. But really--couldn't you have left the candy references to cliches and gotten married at Tavern on the Green or somewhere respectable? I mean, some couples have begun their romances on line for lattes. You don't see them getting hitched at Starbucks and forcing a menu of Venti Chais and coffee mints upon their guests.

But hey, love is love and I'm a sucker for a happy ending. So, if this kooky couple has found their happy ending beneath a lollipop canopy, I won't judge. Not too much anyway.

P.S. If you think celebrating life's milestones at a candy store is a neat idea, Dylan's is happy to host your special day too. Check out their Special Events page for more details.

[NY Times: Vows - Michelle Rosen and David Zornitsky]

Knock knock. Who's there? The Swine Flu.

While I had my head in the sand at the Festival of Books last weekend, the Swine Flu apparently became the most talked about topic in the news since the election. It's serious. It's spreading rapidly. It's killing people for godsake. So why is it so inexplicably funny??? From jokes about bacon to hahas about flying pigs, people across the globe are taking the pandemic with a dose of humor.

A few of my favorite jokes found across the Web...

"So Pig Flu has started in America. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humour?"

- Unidentified Source on the Web

"Great to be back. As you know, I was sick for two days last week. Had to go to the hospital" after "I ate a raw pig a friend brought back from Mexico."

- Jay Leno

"If you flip over to the cable news channels they'd be all 'swine flu, swine flu swine flu, ahhhhh, it's hamageddon, it's the pigpocalypse, it's snout of control.' They just want to scare the crap out of you: 'Is swine flu deadlier than the grim reaper? Stay tuned!"

- Craig Ferguson

[Image Credit: BBC]

NYTimes.com sells its soul. Apple buys it.

Did anyone catch the amazingly cool interactive ad that flew across The New York Times online today? With 2 fixed positions in prime position on the homepage, 1 billion apps zoomed from one leaderboard ad unit into another skyscraper to the right (forgive me if my ad unit lingo is off) to promote the iPhone 3G's 1 billion apps.

Notice how the apps even even across the Times logo itself. Now, how much did that cost?


While this is yet another unsettling sign of publishers' shifting standards (heck, my own company practically invented 'innovative' ad units) due to the economy, I must give kudos to Apple on an amazing ad. I, for one, refreshed the page multiple times just to see the ad again. Apple should be charging the Times.

Terror strikes. Platform sneakers make a come back on Melrose.

I was shopping in Sportie L.A. tonight for some sneaks to tramp across UCLA's campus in this weekend (for Festival of Books. yay, plug!) and I came upon this eye-catching platform sneaker on an otherwise unimpressive and cluttered check-out counter. The sign--fastened on securely with a paper clip--boldly announcing:

Custom Made Platforms
Weddings
Special Events

And I wondered...did stores still add platform layers of rubber on to walking shoes? Hadn't this stopped after those awful years of misguided fashion in middle school? Someone surely must have alerted the footwear retailers across the country that no, this was no longer an acceptable 'fashion' practice. And then I panicked...would some girl--some girl who'd not gotten the memo--who'd spent the last 15 years under a very distant rock--see this sign and customize her very own platform bridal adidas?

I paid for my own, non-customized kicks before I could have my sense of style violated any
further at the register. But the image won't leave my head. The sneaker nightmare lives on.

The Prada Tranformer: innovative or idiotic?

Is Prada's Tranformer innovative and interesting? Or a $10 million toy for a really bored fashion designer?

[Source: WWD - Prada Unveils Its Transformer Project in Seoul]

[Photo Credit: Nasha Lee]

Earth Day. Let’s fix this sh*thole up.

Happy Earth Day everyone! In honor of our planet--and it being the only on we can live on and all--here are my 10 tips for cleaning up the sh*thole we’ve let the place become.

1. Recycle your paper. Those flirty emails from your boyfriend that you printed when you first starting dating? He dumped you already. Chuck the evidence. And recycle all your old porn while you’re at it too.

2. Turn off the lights when you leave your house. I know your mother taught you this was a good idea so burglars would think you were home. But you and I both know that no one wants to steal your crap.

3. Use less toilet paper. I know with certainty that many of you are TP offenders. None of your parts are that delicate. You do not need half the roll to wipe.

4. Take the stairs. Your office is 5 flights up? Well, let’s be honest—your gluts could use the workout and that elevator could use the rest.

5. Hug a tree. No, don’t really please. Plant one with Forest Aid. Or pay someone else to plant one for you.

6. Stop buying leather bondage gear. And other leather goods. I know—they’re soft and supple. But they’re not eco (or animal) friendly.

7. Reduce your water consumption. I’m not suggesting you stop showering. No, no—none of us would want that. Just don’t shower for soooo long. It will help the water drought AND will save neighbors extra minutes of hearing you sing Les Mis in the bathroom.

8. Use a re-usable tote at the store. You’ve probably been given a hundred free ones by now. Stop using them for dirty laundry and start taking them to the bloody grocery store.

9. Don’t have 20 kids. I know babies make you happy. They make me happy too. But you don’t need that 20^th one. Seriously. I’m talking to you, Octo-Mom.

10. Utilize public transportation. Public can be frightening, especially here in LA. But no one told you to start dating that chick who lived all the way across town. And the mileage is putting a serious damper on the ozone.

* Feel free to ‘recycle’ these tips for green living with your not-so-green friends. Even your pals who hate granola and think organic is for dirty hippies can start to clean up their act.

xo * Jessie B. R.

The Simple Life.

I hope soon to stop selling people things that they do not want. I hope to stop wanting the things I am being sold. I hope, specifically, to stop wanting the new Gucci flats and the Marc Jacobs handbag and the Bond No. 9 eau de parfum before their refund windows expire. I hope to move to Austin, Texas where the rent is low, or to Bennington, Vermont where my memories tell me I was happy, before I lose myself and my money to more handbags and high heels and other such things that don't keep well over time. I want to want a simple life.

[Image Credit: Andrew Wyeth - Christina's World]

Grey Gardens, the crumbling kingdom.

Tonight was the premiere of Grey Gardens on HBO. As cable, let alone premium cable, is a luxury afforded to those who earn a decent wage, I did not watch the movie's debut. But I did--last night--watch all 10 parts of the original documentary on You Tube.

I am uncertain which was more disturbing--the dependency between needy mother and damaged daugther--or the latter, feeding Wonder Bread to the raccoons living in the attic of their decaying 28 room mansion.

What an incredibly haunting portrayal of fantasy, desperation and regret. Though I'm sure the dramatized version of Little Edie and Big Edie's crumbling kingdom is powerful, I recommend viewing the real deal. Because nothing's so frightening as the real deal.

Easter: bonnets and bunnies.

After expressing on Facebook last Friday that I wished I was home 'celebrating' Good Friday, it was explained to my by my dear colleague that one doesn't celebrate Good Friday. One observes it. Because Good Friday is the day that Jesus was killed. And one just doesn't celebrate such things. Got it.

I also learned that Easter, marking the day of Jesus' resurrection, is the day we do celebrate. Why we celebrate with eggs and bunnies and bonnets, I'm still not sure I understand in full. Jesus rose from his grave and I, in turn, search for painted eggs in my backyard, donning a large, decorated hat, new baby bunny in tow, eatting jelly beans and chocolate. Hmm. I just don't know that the plight of an egg hunt pays full homage to--oh, ya know--rising from the dead. But I do like the chocolate part and so I'm off to my first ever Easter brunch. Jews for Jesus! [Or at least for wearing fun hats.]

This Is Just to Say

On this week's This American Life, the show covered a poem I'd long forgotten by William Carlos Williams. It is short and it is wonderful and I'll share it with you here.

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

-- William Carlos Williams