A little bit of NY noise at Playhouse Hollywood.

Just in time for my return to LA next week, my good friend, NY's best and best dressed DJ, DJ Reach, is coming to town. Catch him with me at Playhouse a week from tonight. (And you know if I'm leaving my apartment into the cold...and into the cold in Hollywood no less, than he must be just that good.)

Thursday, December 16th

Playhouse
6506 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA

Get yourself excited for his appearance with a taste of his last venture to our fair city below...

Hollywood's newest watering hole: MyStudio. [Life in clubLAnd]

From the folks (and when I say folks, I mean David Judaken) who brought you MyHouse and East and [long, long ago in the time when club-going dinosaurs ruled Hollywood] Garden of Eden, there is now MyStudio in the space that once housed Mood. Like MyHouse, MyStudio will confuse your friends. 'Where are you going,' they'll ask. 'To MyStudio,' you'll answer. 'But we surely can't all fit inside your studio,' they'll quip. And the Abbott & Costello routine will go on for another moment before you all realize you're talking about the chic new lounge on Hollywood Boulevard with the amazing library in front and sexy VIP booths along every wall, not to mention an incredible bubble chandelier that hangs above the main bar. It would better be illustrated with a picture, but photography was off limits last night at the industry opening event, and so a few choice words: bubbles/light source/outstanding is all I can offer to portray its awesomeness.

Though there's little photographic evidence of my adventure, there will always be the memories of the mashed potato bar. Oh. My. Good. Lord. It was good.

I was allowed this picture of the new venue's executive staff, however. And what a good looking bunch they are...

Partner & Director of VIP/Promotions, Tony Daly, Events Director, April Luca, and Handsomest Man on Hollywood Boulevard, Bernardo.

Chambers Clothing Preview Party: tequila + VICE + rabbits' feet [We Like to Party]

Last night, we headed downtown to celebrate the launch of Chambers Clothing, the sharp looking new line of menswear from Matt Goldman (artist & promoter extraordinaire) and Devin Carlson (of Fremont Apparel). The party was held at one of Cedd Moses' (many, many) new watering holes, Las Perlas. Las Perlas is a tequila bar and, to save you the trouble of asking should you go in, they do not serve other liquors. Though they may try to make you believe that certain tequilas taste like other certain liquors. Hmm.

The Chambers collection looks incredible. Incredible enough to make me wish I was either a dude or a much larger woman so that I could sport some of the looks. Fingers are crossed for a women's line to follow...

View the Chambers Look Book.

Life in clubLAnd: What’s wrong with Hollywood.

There are numerous things wrong with Hollywood. I mean, the list is endless. Some areas are still dirty. Others are too clean and touristy. The traffic is bad. Grown men dressed as costumed cartoon characters will assault you on the street. And for God’s sake, the Scientologists have got to be stopped.

But this party flyer basically takes all the hobos and the addicts and the paparazzi and makes them seem like characters out of Pleasantville. Cause this—this, people—is what’s really wrong with Hollywood.


No. 1 – Who the f++k is Gemini and why should I care? In case you wondered the same thing, it turns out that Gemini Pop Diva is a ‘young aspiring singer of ethnic background.’ Well, those are her words. My words would more likely come in the form of advice to put on some decent clothes and wipe that awful tranny makeup off her face.

No. 2 – The press release accompanying this flyer tells us that “Jason Wahler is a former Mtv The Hills & Laguna Beach Star as well as ex-boyfriend to Lauren Conrad….People normally confuse him with Actor Colin Farrell since they both look alike and share the same Irish heritage.” I’d like to remind Jason’s publicist that a) people who appear in reality television shows are not ‘stars.’ They are people. Who openly humiliate themselves on national TV. b) Being someone’s ex boyfriend is not a feat. It is just over. And c) Some people think I look like Jamie Lee Curtis. So what?

No. 3 – Being David Hasselhoff’s ex-wife and the mother of his children does not make one interesting. Being convicted of a hit and run makes you even more un-interesting. In fact, it makes you a terrible human being, not a candidate for club-night host.

And that, friends, is what's happening in clubLAnd this week. And what is so terribly wrong with Hollywood.

Life in clubLAnd: Studio Apartment

I rocked out last night. No, seriously, I ROCKED out.

6:30 p - Early Bird Dinner compiled from items purchased on recent trip to Ralph's, as well as found [food] objects from the fridge.

7:30 p - CSI Miami marathon...all watched on my computer. Who knew the autopsy doctor was popping prescription pills!?

10:30 p - Suze Orman's tips for the Young, Fabulous and Broke. Read from the comfort of bed.

12:00 a - Pass. Out.

Listen, it's a tough door at my studio apartment. I'm not promising you can just waltz right in and enjoy the most rocking spot in clubLAnd. But slip a twenty to the bouncer and who knows. Next hot night...probably tonight.

Well the sun goes down and the clock says eight,
I better get dress cuz i don't wanna be late,
I don't wanna be late-cuz there's a lot to do,
I'm gonna change my clothes,
Put on my stiletto shoes,
Put on my eyeliner and my lipstick too,
So c'mon- we're gonna party till the break of dawn.
- The Eyeliners

[Image Credit: Getty Images]

Life in clubLAnd: Happy Hour at The Terrace at XIV

Last night launched the start of an amazing summer happy hour at The Terrace at XIV, SBE's culinary cornerstone on Sunset. Chef Michael Mina has made the restaurant famous for its wide selection of gourmet goodies and tasting menus, including a substantial selection of vegetarian and even vegan menu items (hoorah!). The restaurant has also earned infamy for a lesser known partner called sky-high prices. But cheapskates, foodies and funseekers can rejoice together at the newly debuted specials offered between 6 and 8 pm, Tuesday through Saturday, all summer long. Drink specials, made special by Krol Vodka and some nice handiwork by the bartenders, are just $6. A small menu of apps from the restaurant are available for $6. And the valet, if you arrive before 7 p, is on hand for...you guessed it...$6.

Last night, my happy hour buddy sampled the lobster corn dogs (I'm sure they were called something more impressive)...

And I chowed down on the best popcorn I've ever eaten (and I've eaten a lot, my friends). Black truffle oil should be a mandate in movie houses across the country...

I'll be returning some night soon for popcorn on the patio. You should join me. With prices like these, I may even be buying.

Life in clubLAnd: H.wood

When you're no longer surprised to see girls in tutus, DJs in pom-poms and grown men sporting arts and crafts, have you been in LA too long or just long enough?

Last night, my good pals--Dina and Elana--and I braved a night on the town. We stopped by H.wood [formerly (and briefly) Stork Lounge, even more formerly who knows what at the back of Hollywood & Highland]. If entering a posh club through a shopping mall seems strange...it is. Though once inside the venue's gate, I felt part of a dark, loungey atmosphere--well, going in and out, all I could think of was how great it would be to find an open Wetzel's Pretzels.

Last night's party, hosted by Posso the DJ (one half pictured below), celebrated the birthday of Daisy O'Dell and claimed inspiration from the Dada movement. Ok, we'll buy it.

Beside seeing some long lost LA cohorts (Rich Royal, Foundtrack's V, half the staff from Chateau Marmont, etcetera, etcetera), some of the evening's visual highlights included crafting...

Girls in leotards (thank you Elana for posing so I could discreetly get this shot)...

Balloon monkeys...

And the Carl's Junior fries picked up on the way home.

Also of note was the Crayola chalk on display as part of H.wood's free-spirited cirque theme. I am so sorry to the Hollywood & Highland staff for any damages I may [or may not] have done on the way out. Again...there are dangers to placing a club inside the mall.

Life in clubLAnd: The Woods, Renee's Courtyard Cafe

I don't do Saturday nights anymore. Making my venture out last night to see my visiting friend J a rather large shock to the system. Things I learned along the way...

1. I didn't realize so many people still went out on the weekends.

2. That their skirts had gotten so grossly short.

3. We should all be on high alert for the thief who stole Santa Monica's style.

After dinner at Chan Dara (where I would highly recommend the Pad Se Ew and highly distrust the waitress' promise of 'mild'), we began our adventures at The Woods, the strip mall-housed bar, designed to look like, duh, the woods, and called a 'dive bar' despite the obvious design efforts and lounge appeal.


Well, in truth, we really began at Mashti Malone's Ice Cream next door in the shopping center. We skipped the house specialty, the rosewater ice cream, for straight up cream and fudge. Not a bad choice.

Next up, we traveled to Santa Monica's Renee's Courtyard Cafe. To my friends who warned me (Elana--you tried!)...I never should have doubted you. The room full of dusty old dolls, meant to evoke the kitschy and creepy, paled in frightfulness next to the horror of what appeared to be a full-on college party. Couples making out against the walls, gaggles of girls and groups of guys and beer and rain a mess on the floor. I had sudden urges to down kamakazi shots, smoke cigarettes while swapping spit with strangers in the corner, and wake up in my own vomit--just like the good old college days. Well, no--my first instinct was actually to propel myself out of there.


I never fail to see a different side of the city when friends are in town. And while I'm sure J is now frightened of ever returning to LA's nightlife scene after last night's sampling, I hope she'll return. So I can show her the safest place to spend a Saturday night...at home.

Life in clubLAnd: MyHouse

The scene above is not from a slumber party in the bedroom of my apartment (no, no--not in my tiny studio). It is not from a wild orgy party in the Hollywood Hills (I forgot to RSVP to that party). The dark, blurry image above is from this evening's industry preview of MyHouse, the new venue from David Judaken's Syndicate Hospitality (Mood, Opera & Crimson). Opened in the former home of Garden of Eden, the nightclub is a welcome change from the super-small lounges (i.e. - Crown Bar) or mega-clubs (i.e. - The Kress or Versus, which I suppose we don't have to worry about anyway after it's failed attempts to open) that have become so popular in the last year. My House boasts neither uber-exclusivity, nor magnitude. It's the perfect size--large enough that there's always another person to flirt with around the bend, small enough that you can find your friends when the dude you've met turns out to be a creep.

And, as portrayed in the much superior press shots below, each aspect of the venue really does feel like your house (from the plush bedroom, to the working bathtub, to the sunken living room)...just a helluva lot nicer.

Photo Credits: Interior #1 - Jessie. B. R., Interior #2 + #3 - MyHouse