NY - Day 1: Long Island. A cultural abyss.

I arrived to NY last night. When most people think of New York, they think of bright lights, a big city, and party people up all night. This is not the New York I grew up in. This is not the New York I arrived to last night.

My day today was spent driving from one Long Island mall to another Long Island mall. The only obvious difference between the two malls was that one was for slightly older, wealthier people with bad taste (Saks, Bloomingdale's, a food court) and the other was for younger, broker kids with bad taste (Justice, Rave Girl, a food court).

Here are my shots from the day's journey...


This is me. In the parking lot of mall one. Next to a large truck I fancied.


This is me. Sitting with a giant stuffed gorilla. The gorilla had something to do with a mall kiosk. That apparently, according to the gorilla's shirt, was selling equity?

This is me, taking a break in the mall from the Island accents and the smell of Aunt Annie's pretzels and the Abercrombie mall rats with a $1 massage chair.

This is me, taking a tip from Jesus, who--according to this sign--suggests 'com[ing] apart and rest[ing] a while.'

Fingers crossed that tomorrow holds the same promise for excitement.

Highlights from New York: The Hudson Hotel, Sweat Shoppes, and Virgin America

I went to New York last week. These were the highlights of four and a half days on the other coast...

* I flew Virgin America for the first time. Overrated, but inexpensive. And we like inexpensive. We also like touch screen snack menus.

* The terminal waiting area provided for some interesting people watching. For instance...

These two men were obviously interested in chatting. Their stances say 'I want to talk to you. Talking will probably make this wait time go faster. But let's leave these two seats between us. I can barely hear you from here. So speak up. But please don't lean in too close as we might appear too close. And that is one step away from gay.'

This blonde woman was very excited to see her friend (not pictured). She tried for minutes to move her face in such a way that would express this sentiment before relinquishing to the fact that she could no longer smile due to excessive cosmetic surgery.

* I stayed at the Hudson Hotel. The single room I slept in may very well be the smallest hotel room known to the Western hemisphere. But for $140 a night, I would have shared a cardboard box with an escaped convict. The room was cheap, so I won't complain that the hallway on the 14th floor smelled like sweat. I'll just mention it briefly. The hallway sort of smelled like a locker room. Everything else was lovely. Seriously. I'd stay here again in a heartbeat.

* I stopped by Topshop's much-buzzed about new store in Soho. The multilevel boutique, full of youthful fashions and neon wares, felt like the lovechild of H&M and the 80s. Some luster was definitely lost at seeing the shop in person. But I was excited to find a lower-priced line from denim brand Radcliffe.

* I saw young, drunk love on the subway train.

* I visited my mother in Long Island where the mall boasts stores with original and descriptive names like 'Sweats & Jeans,' and knife demos happen on the hour at Sears.

"New York is the dirtiest, largest, ugliest, broken-down city in the world--but it's the only one."
- Isaac Stern