Perez Hilton...children's author!?

The manchild who has made fun of every celeb on the this green Earth, has drawn cocaine smears on the mug shots of Hollywood's fast set, and made jabs at others' weights, lifestyles and levels of diminished talent, is now publishing a book. A children's book. A children's book that "celebrates individuality and self-acceptance, and is inspired by Hilton’s desire to promote equality in readers of all ages."

I have no words. Only this cover art. Please go ahead and design your own caption. Because I am completely and utterly speechless.