The Oscar.

Tonight marks the umpteenth Academy Awards to grace the film industry. Which means the umpteenth Awards to muddle with Hollywood traffic, fill up the style pages of all the gossip rags, and exhaust me.

In honor of that exhaustion, I offer no commentary on a single movie, nor solitary gown. I will not, from hereon out today, discuss the Awards, the celebrities, or the statuesque gold Oscar himself. Unless, like Banksy depicted earlier this month, an army of Star Wars troopers attacks the red carpet. Then maybe I would be interested in further discussion. But only maybe. And probably not.