Little Red Riding Hood. Digitized for 2009.

I came across this cool video via Very Short List this morning. It's a design student's digitally-enhanced, uber-smart take on the Brothers Grimm's tale, Little Red Riding Hood.

Ok, so the story may not be as quaint when you know Grandma's nutritional breakdown and the cost of the hunter's outfit. But it's a whole lot cooler.


Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

[Very Short List: Girl in the Hood]

Your trip to heaven is departing in 25 minutes from the corner of Hollywood & Highland...

These images are from a week-old adventure through LA, but they're too perfect not to share. As Renee and I traipsed through Hollywood last Saturday, God seemed to follow us everywhere.

God actually started chatting me up the evening before as I drove to Home in Silverlake.

Then on Saturday, we were lured toward Hollywood & Highland, tourist Sin Central, where anti-war protesters were finishing a march along closed-down Hollywood Boulevard...


Beside the cops...

And the cops on horses...

God was there...

He had a sign. And he had buddies working to spread the gospel...

Including Jesus--the most righteous of all the costumed characters standing outside the Mann Chinese...

And some young zealots offering God money on the streets and some solid advice on getting to heaven.

Our conversation went something like this paraphrased nonsense...

Renee and I: So, what is this for? Does this fake money get us into heaven?
Young Zealot: Have you ever lied, sinned, or stolen?
Me: Yeah--have you?
YZ: Yes, but I've repented. You have to forsake it and humble yourself before God. If you put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, you can get into heaven.
Renee and I: So, are we like, cool to get into heaven then cause we just took these god bills?
YZ: You can repent here or you can go home and do it.
Me: Is this going to be a problem if I'm Jewish?
YZ: If you're Jewish, Jesus is your messiah.
Me: So...I'm, like, already saved then? Cool.

This is right around the time that our young friend called over 'Pastor Steve' to see if there were any bibles left.

Our righteous buddy kindly gave me the holy book, offered his email address and then...gave me back my pen because he "didn't want to steal." Oh, good Lord.

Even the Virgin store was selling religion. Here's Renee with some 'Lookin Good for Jesus' skincare products. Virgin selling Jesus products?! Get it?! Puntastic, eh...

Saved, lotioned up and ready for Jesus. All in a day's holy work.

Highlights from a week gone by: McLovin, Gordon Ramsay, Home Silverlake

Tuesday night, my lovely friend at Paramount invited me to the premiere of 'I Love You, Man,' the new Paul Rudd/Jason Segel comedy (Rashida Jones, though I love her, is hardly worth mentioning) that takes jabs at bro-dating. Among the motley crew of stars on the red carpet were Ron Jeremy, Jerry Stiller and Jack Black. Then there was actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse--better known as McLovin--skinnier than a manorexic on dexetrin, who took 10 minutes to make it past 40 feet of fans. I believe that one man, who was creepily old for such fan antics, actually said 'I love your work.' I did not realize that one role in a college-humor film constituted 'work.'

At least three people asked why I wasn't wearing green. Who the fu*k knew it was St. Patrick's Day. Jews don't celebrate saints. Ridiculous.

On Wednesday I stayed with my visiting bestie at The London Hotel. If I were to get nitpicky, the digs are too contemporary-slick for my taste. But in general--gorgeous. The beds are like clouds. The baths have triple shower heads--enough said. And Gordon Ramsay at the London has a separate Vegetarian Menu upon request. A secret worth spreading.

I spent my Friday night at Home Silverlake. Scott T. Sterling DJ'ed. Scott Sterling hosted. It might have been confusing but for the differentiating middle initial. Cydney Robinson may be the Janis Joplin of this generation. The voices could make them sisters. But I am pretty sure this one wasn't on crack.



All in a week gone by. Cheers to the next seven days.

Parting thoughts: Facebook has been showing multiple maternity-related ad units on my account. Does it know something I don't? Are my pschographics showing signs of a baby bump only Facebook knows I have?

The RSVP Line: Tonight! At Home Restaurant in Silverlake

Tonight! DJ Scott T. Sterling will join L.A. singer-songwriter Julianna Raye and the organic folk of Cydney Robinson for a low-key evening at HOME SILVERLAKE.

9 p - 2 a

HOME
2500 Riverside Dr.
Los Angeles, CA

HOME has both a full kitchen and a full bar so come early for dinner and stay for drinks!

For more information, CLICK HERE.

Hope to see you there. I mean, c'mon, it's the best idea you've heard all day.

xo * Jessie B. R.

If I lived in South Park...

My friend Renee has been beseeching us to create our South Park selves on SP Studio. I gave in tonight and found my South Park alter-self to look a little something like this gun-wielding, nature-loving beauty...

If I lived in South Park, I'd be friends with the South Park me. I look like a pretty rad chick.

art in LA: Cerasoli Gallery, LeBasse Gallery & Dan Auerbach

On Saturday night, Scott and I ventured out into the night to see art, more art, and--lastly--Dan Auerbach. Who isn't really 'art' per say. But counts for the purposes of me calling this entry 'art in LA.'

First we traipsed over to the Cerasoli Gallery run by husband and wife lovelies, Freddi and Evan Cerasoli. The Cerasoli Gallery, of course, used to be Lab 101...before it joined forces with Project Gallery to form the Cerasoli:LeBasse Gallery with Beau...who now runs the LeBasse Gallery. Confusing, yes, but stay with me.

The Cerasolis were, and are, showing acid-inspired works by Tofer Chin and fantastic, elaborate works of a clear genius, David O'Brien. O'Brien has got an architectural background, having worked with the impressive likes of Frank Gehry, writes backwards, is probably smarter than both you and I combined, and includes symbolic references in his work like his 'potato people.' We like potatoes. We like David O'Brien.


Next up, we headed to the LeBasse Gallery for a private preview of the gallery's first group show.

Amongst my fave pieces were Brian Donnelly's Grizzly Transplant...


Is it a bear? Is it a hot chick? Are you terrified? Are you turned on? Figuring out if you are going to pee, or alternatively cum, in your pants is really the fun of this one.

And Alicia Ross' Sampler 2...

Which made me wonder a. why Ms. Ross couldn't think of a better name for this piece than 'Sampler' and b. why more people aren't cross-stiching. It's clearly a more provocative hobby form than most folks realize.

Last, we retreated to the El Rey, where a sold-out room of potbellied, bearded men celebrated in the rock goodness of one Mister Dan Auerbach (of the Black Keys). I learned here that there are limits to how loud even your favorite music should go and that there are more beer-guzzling Midwesterners in Los Angeles than I had realized. Go figure.

And here, a wee-short clip from my favorite Dan Auerbach song, When the Night Comes, performed on Saturday and filmed on a camera clearly much superior to my own.

Commercials that move me: Coca-Cola

This commercial, brought to you by Coca-Cola, makes me want to run out and hug babies, live life to the fullest, drink a sh+t ton of Coca-Cola product! But seriously, it made me cry. It'll make you cry too unless you're a cold, cold bitch.

The colors of the Silverlake Farmers' Market

The Silverlake Farmers' Market on Saturday afternoon.

Life in clubLAnd: Crocker Club, Cole's, The Varnish

Two nights ago had me in a whirlwind tour through some of Downtown LA’s newest bars. And I should start by saying…wow, I haven’t been that drunk in a while.

We began the night at Crocker Club, the converted bank building where—according to their website, the sign on their door, and the security—they take their dress code policy very seriously. No ‘white tennis shoes,’ no beanies (oh, the horror!!), and apparently no leniency even if the hoodie’s cashmere or the wearer of it, stylish and chic. Verdict: Cocktails are strong. This will be easier to swallow when the bar menu starts in a month (according to our handsome bartender). Dress code—lose it puh-lease.

Next we headed to grab a bite at Cole’s, the supposed ‘Originator of the French Dip.’ What is French Dip you ask? Funny, I asked too. Apparently, it’s a short menu of great-sounding sandwich-cum-meat juice items that I can’t eat. The vegetarian special at Cole’s? Grilled Cheese. I’m in.

Our bartender at Cole’s could be the last bartender in Los Angeles and I’d feel ok about it. From his thorough explanation of drink options, to his dutiful search on his Sidekick (do those still work?), to his substitution of my first so-so drink for this awesome one with muddled raspberries (I just like to say the word muddled!), he rocked.

Last, we took a quick walk through Cole’s to the back door where we entered The Varnish, the new bar from NY bar legend Sasha Petraske (Milk & Honey), Cedd Moses (owner of Cole’s and nearly everything else in Downtown LA) and Eric Alperin (who I’m sure is someone equally important).

Though The Varnish has already been infiltrated by a few folks with cheap bags, trucker hats and button downs, the vibe, for the most part, has somehow remained intact in this small bar that occupies the back room of Coles, mixes drinks to a tee and employs bar staff dressed like this...

It's all about the snazzy mixology at The Varnish...

Though by the time I made it back here, I stuck with a snazzy NON-alcoholic ginger drink. Impressive.

Commercials that move me: Liberty Mutual

I'm not really sure what Liberty Mutual Insurance is selling--but this commercial nearly brought me to tears a few nights ago. Ok, it did. It did bring me to tears--and whatever they're selling...I'll take some.

Design Dish: New Balance for Nine West. Really?

Who doesn’t love advertiser messaging from their beloved editorial newsletters? Urban Daddy pushing energy drinks? Daily Candy selling me diet powders? Well, occasionally, one of these news sources’ dedicated blasts is worth blasting. Today’s Who What Wear sales pitch announced a new fashion marriage: New Balance and Nine West. Interesting style collab!

Some of the sneaks are cute…

Some of the sneaks are…um…not so cute…

But what I really love? The logo!

The NY Times. Arrogant and bullyish, but not invincible.

It's not kind to feel joy at the suffering of others. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's ok to smirk a little at the misfortune of others, no?? Especially if they're bullies?

It turns out that the NY Times, who just recently took stabs at the LA Times in a public ad campaign (as reported by LA Observed), is not doing so hot themselves.

From this morning's WWD Memo Pad (yes, a fashion trade is my morning news source--what of it?)...

TIMES RAISES FUNDS: The New York Times Co. has entered into a sale-leaseback transaction with W.P. Carey & Co. LLC for $225 million for part of the space the Times Co. owns in its headquarters building on Eighth Avenue, including 21 floors, or 750,000 rentable square feet. The money will be used to pay long-term debt and a portion will be used to fund a redemption payment of its 4.5 percent notes due in 2010. The company also recently borrowed $250 million from Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim Helú and is trying to sell its stake in the Boston Red Sox. The lease term is 15 years, with an option for the company to repurchase the condominium interest for $250 million during the 10th year of the lease. The rental payment will be $24 million, or $32 a square foot, for the first year and increase in the coming years. — A.W.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Stand proud, LA Times. We are not alone!

[WWD Memo Pad: Times Raises Funds]
[LA Observed: NYT hits 'em while they're down]

M83 takes to the Walt Disney Concert Hall, LA Phil in tow.

On Saturday night M83 took to the stage with the LA Philharmonic at the Walt Disney Concert Hall. If you’re not familiar with M83 (and I was not), it’s electronic music—sometimes gloomy, sometimes dancey. If you’re not familiar with the Walt Disney Concert Hall, it’s the big, Frank Gehry-designed metal flower on Grand Avenue in Downtown.

Not knowing music, and certainly not knowing M83, here are my thoughts on Saturday night’s performance…

* I tried to take a picture of the hall. I was quickly instructed by an eager, young usher that flash photography was not permitted. I asked if I could turn my flash off. He said no, all photography was prohibited. Um, get it straight usher kid! You’ve now proven yourself a liar. And me a sad, photo-less guest. Which is a real lose-lose situation.

* I went to the bathroom and took this picture in defiance. Take that Frank Gehry and your team of snot-nosed ushers!

* M83 is essentially Anthony Gonzales in front of multiple machines with flashing lights (no Kanye West reference implied).

* The music made me think of ecstasy.

* I wonder how many people in the audience were on ecstasy.

* I wonder if Anthony Gonzales was on ecstasy.

* Anthony Gonzales gyrated with those flashing machines like I only do in my bathroom when no one’s watching and the radio’s on really loud. Hmmm, maybe he was on ecstasy.

* Adrien Grenier was there. If Adrien Grenier likes M83, maybe I shouldn’t like M83??

* When M83 left the stage after Part 1 and the LA Phil, led by conductor Julian Kuerti, came on, I am pretty sure I heard someone shout ‘yay, real music!’ This is some ignorant sh+t. Even I know that.

* Here is a video of the last song of the evening, which was my favorite. Apparently someone managed to sneak a recording device past the nazi ushers. Enjoy.

Life in Los Angeles: women washing cars.

I went to work out in Silverlake this morning and I noticed these women across the street energetically waving signs around advertising 'Car Wash.'

I was surprised to see what I thought were Orthodox Jewish women engaging in a car wash promotion. A) It is Saturday, the Sabbath. B) Orthodox Jewish women just generally don't do things like this. Trust me.

Then I looked up to realize these industrious women were standing in front of the Iglesia Central, something I think--from my time in LA--is a religious Latino thing.

Either way, I felt a bit odd about the prospect of driving up to a car wash where religious women--Hassidic, Catholic, or otherwise--in long skirts and modest wears, would be scrubbing down my car [which is, coincidentally, very, very dirty].

I'd feel better about girls like the below washing my car. They're already demeaning themselves so I don't need to feel guilty about it.

People who take themselves too seriously debate: Vanity Fair -- sexy or sexist?

I just found this amazing picture on WomenAndHollywood.com. She thinks it’s awful. I think it’s friggin phenomenal.

It makes fun of the 2006 Vanity Fair (cover sporting Tom Ford with Hollywood beauties Scarlett Johannson and Keira Knightley.

She thinks that cover was sexist. I think it was pretty rad. Can a picture that features two vastly different female forms and a gay guy all getting cozy together really be that offensive?

[Women & Hollywood – Sexist Alert: Vanity Fair Comedians]
[Gawker – The Vanity Fair Cover: Hey, Who Invited Tom Ford]

Food Find: Mastro's, Johnny Rockets and Jer Ne at the Ritz.

From five stars to french fries and back. A weekend's adventure in overeating...

Saturday afternoon—about 3:00 p
Johnny Rockets on Melrose

A friend and I dove into this ‘50s themed burger and malt chain for some ice cream. About 10 minutes into our visit, the staff broke into song and dance. I am still not convinced (despite the below picture) that I was not hallucinating.

Saturday night—9:00 p
Mastro’s in Beverly Hills

Scott and I headed to the famed Beverly Hills steakhouse to celebrate his birthday. Supposedly the steak is great there. Scott’s was overcooked and I don’t eat meat so I guess we’ll never know. I would give 4 and a half stars to the gorgonzola mac and cheese (pictured below), however.

While the staff at Mastro’s don’t sing, nor dance, they do whip their own cream. Perfect for cake…or other things.

Sunday afternoon—12:00 p
Jer Ne @ The Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Rey

For birthday celebration Part Deux we tried out the Ritz Carlton Marina Del Rey's brunch at Jer Ne. View: peachy. Breakfast: pretty good. Desserts (all 5 of them): f-ing phenomenal.

In an effort to burn off some of the weekend’s calories, we took a walk through the Marina Del Rey Parcourse, courtesy of 1975.

I don’t think my walk along the 10 inch high balance beam completely negated the weekend’s edibles, but I do feel a little bit better about the leftovers consumed Sunday evening—7 pm.

Laugh o'the Day

For today's laugh o'the day, I present you with lyrics from Soulja Boy's latest hit, Kiss Me Through The Phone. Yes, really, that is the name of the song. Damn you Indie 103.1 for leaving us with a quality music void and 97.1 for not only abandoning us as well, but allowing yet another Top 40 station into your place. I never should have heard this song...

Soulja Boy Kiss Me Through The Phone, Featuring Sammie Lyrics

[Chorus: Sammie]
Baby you know that I miss you
I wanna get with you
Tonight but I can not baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you
I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now
So baby kiss me through the phone
Kiss me through the phone(I'll see ya later on later on)
Kiss me through the phone kiss me through the phone(see ya when I get home)

[Verse 1: Soulja Boy]
Baby I know that u like me
Your my future wifey
Soulja boy tell em yeah
You can be my Bonny
I can be your Clyde
You can be my wife
Text me call me I need you in my life
Ya all day everyday I need ya
And every time I see ya my feelings get deeper
I miss ya I miss ya I really wanna kiss ya but I can't

[Sammie:]
678 triple 9 8212

[Chorus:]
Baby you know that I miss you
I wanna get with you
Tonight but I can not baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you
I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now
So baby kiss me through the phone
Kiss me through the phone(I'll see ya later on)
Kiss me through the phone kiss me through the phone(see ya when I get home)

[Verse 2: Soulja Boy]
Baby I've been thinking lately
So much about you
Everything about you
I like it I love it
Kissing you in public
Thinking nothing of it
Roses by the dozens
Talking on the phone
Baby your so sexy
Your voice is so lovely
I love your complexion
I miss ya [x3]
I really wanna kiss ya but I can't

[Sammie]
678 triple 9 8212

[Chorus:]
Baby you know that I miss you
I wanna get with you
Tonight but I can not baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you
I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now
So baby kiss me through the phone
Kiss me through the phone(I'll see ya later on)
Kiss me through the phone kiss me through the phone(see ya when I get home)

[Soulja Boy:]
She call my phone like (da)[x20]
We on the phone like (da)[x20]
We taking pics like (da)[x20]
She dial my numba like (da)[x20]

[Sammie]
6 7 8 triple 9 8 2 1 2

[Chorus:]
Baby you know that I miss you
I wanna get with you
Tonight but I can not baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you
I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now
So baby kiss me through the phone
Kiss me through the phone(I'll see ya later on)
Kiss me through the pnone kiss me through the phone(see ya when I get home)

[Kiss Me Thru The Phone Lyrics on www.lyricsmania.com]